TE PUTATARA

 

A Newsletter for The Maori Alliance
P.O.Box 408, Wellington, New Zealand

ISSN 0114-2097 - Issue No.03/89 20 March 1989

 


 

 

 

 

 

"Ki te whai te mana Maori motuhake i runga i te kotahitanga me te tino rangatiratanga i roto i Te Tiriti o Waitangi."

Ki Te Tiriti o Waitangi, tena koe.
Ki te kaupapa o Te Kotahitanga Maori, tena koe.
E nga iwi o te motu, e nga hau e wha,
Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa.

 

 

 

A few words to clear up some questions that readers have posed.

Te Putatara is not the official voice of The Maori Alliance. It is published for members of the Alliance, and speaks to them, not for or on behalf of them. Members of The Maori Alliance are quite capable of speaking for themselves.

The only funding that Te Putatara now receives from The Maori Alliance is for subscriptions for it's members. Te Putatara is a commercial venture which is self funding through subscriptions and koha.

For those of you who have asked, my only job is writing and selling Te Putatara. I enjoy my work thank you very much. I enjoy it even more when you pay up.

E hoa ma, you Maori people are a curious lot aren't you? The things you ask me! And to the enterprising public servant who didn't bother to ask me, the answer is; "No, you can't sell copies of my newsletter for $5 each, you sneaky cheat! Not unless you give me my $3.75 share."

To answer another set of Pakeha questions; I am not a member of the National Party, the Labour Party, the Mana Motuhake Party, the Social Credit Party, the NZ Democrats Party, the Values Party, the NZ Party, the Socialist Unity Party or the Communist Party. My inclinations are towards the Mad Hatters Tea Party.

The Maori Alliance is an alliance of Maori people and organisations and their Pakeha supporters. I presume its members belong to all sorts of parties. They are all sorts of people.

And they are beautiful people.

If Pakeha people could learn to see through their deeply held fears, and to overcome their prejudice, they too would discover the beauty that lies behind the dark face; discover the beauty that is there for all to see.

A people with the hope and vision to spend four months in sailing ships bound for a new world and a new land called New Zealand must surely be able to muster the courage to complete the voyage.

Kia ora,
Ross Himona.

 


 

 

 

Fan Mail

 

 

 

Mr Himona,

I read your inflammatory and childish article in the Dominion today.

Without wasting too much energy may I simply say that going by the performances of Pacific Island and Asian peoples in New Zealand at present, the Maori is fast being superceded as a racial group in this country. The increasing numbers of such people will eventually force Maoris to accept that they are just another race in this country albeit with their own particular identity. The fact that Maoris should have to stoop to subversive measures in order to gain the respect of the dominant culture is simply a poor reflection on them as a racial group. It is the very kind of attitude which you express which deters otherwise sympathetic "Europeans" (not "Pakeha" thank you) from the Maori cause.

I think there is little more to be said - the future will speak for itself.

Regards,
Ann Brown.

(no address supplied)

# Kia ora Ann, wherever you are - Ross.

 

 

***

Tena koutou nga kaitohitohi o te Putatara,

OK. I admit it. I'm one of the (must be) hundreds of Maori who reads Te Putatara but has not yet subscribed.

How do we do it? Simple, we've all got a friend of a cousin of a friend who subscribes (or photocopies a copy from somebody who does). So that's how you get a Maori readership from a Pakeha subscribership. Too many friends and cousins (& photocopiers) out here, that's your problem.

But no more. I have to wander off ki Ingarani (for the cause) and there's a dearth of cousie-bro's over there, so I enclose $45 for my very own subscription (Well, a few other people might read it before me).

Heoi ano,
Marama Findlay.
Kaitaia.

# Kia ora Marama. Why don't you all go overseas and leave me your $45 eh?

Thanks to Marama and many like her our subscribership is now mainly Maori. Thank you all. Keep it up!

Ross.

 

 

***

Kia ora,

Please find enclosed our subscription. We get a buzz from reading the newsletters and it also helps to see things from another perspective - good stuff.

Noho ora mai,
Whai-oranga Trust
Tauranga.

 

 

***

Other letters.

# Kia ora koutou katoa. Thanks for your support.

 

Thank you for your letters. If you do not want them published please say so and your wishes will be respected.

 


 

 

 

 

Wellington Watch

A Round-up of Capital Events

 

 

 

Maoridom Waits

 

The mood in Wellington is strange. We had He Tirohanga Rangapu, then we had Te Urupare Rangapu, and now there is nothing much at all. The kumara vine reports an uneasiness about whether or not the kaupapa is changing yet again, or whether there is a kaupapa at all.

Te Department reflects the lack of direction and the strange mood, with staff alternating between depression and frenetic cheerfulness. For weeks on end they have been scurrying straight home after work, then suddenly and without apparent reason they all turn up at Alberts (formerly the Dungeon) and get amongst the hops. Can you blame them? Few of them know whether they have jobs after 30 June.

There is speculation that Cabinet is going to attempt to hold the lid on Maoridom for as long as it can in order to build it's chances in next year's elections. Both the grapevine and the kumara vine report that the most probable strategy being put into play is to delay any new initiatives and to allow the whole iwi initiative to slowly fall apart by itself. Given all the uncertainty and lack of information, that outcome becomes a distinct possibility.

The near destruction of MANA Enterprises as an iwi initiative by the Department of Maori Affairs (and its hired consultants) has already heavily damaged the flagship of iwi development.

National Party Maori also seem to be taking a more active part in iwi affairs since Te Urupare Rangapu was published. Their strategy is almost certainly to slow things down until a National Party government is formed and then to return Maoridom to the tender care of the New Zealand Maori Council.

Strange as it may seem, both the Labour and National strategies could end up being remarkably similar; the one out of necessity, and the other out of ignorance and insensitivity. In fact, when you look closely, there are quite a few similarities between the attitudes of Peter Tapsell and Winston Peters on matters Maori.

I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. The iwi have to run a common strategy. You have to get together.

 

Preparatory Planning Unit

 

Te Very Creative Old Department has called the new unit headed by Whaimutu Dewes the Preparatory Planning Unit or Te PPU, known also as Te PP-Me. As te pi-pi-wharauroa says, "Here a P, there a P, everywhere a Pi-pi". No doubt they will be reporting regularly to Te PM in Te Pi-hive on Te Hill. Phew!

 

Iwi Transition Unit

 

Another unit in Head Office headed by Wishie Jaram is the ITU (Iwi Transition Unit) and it is also getting ready for Te Demolition. E te PPU, me te ITU. ICU. Tena korua. UCMe2U2?

 

Iwi Transition Agency

 

Apparently the new Iwi Transition Agency which will be formed soon will be a completely new body, and not just a restructured Department of Maori Affairs. I hope all you iwi out there are being regularly consulted about how you want your agency to look and perform.

 

Ministry of Maori Affairs

 

John Clarke is still beavering away at the State Services Commission setting up his new Ministry. He recently advertised for a Corporate Affairs Manager and a Director of Policy and Planning. Our many sources all report that he still has a long way to go, and is going to need a lot of help if the new Ministry is to be operational by 1 July 1989.

 

Staff Movements

 

At the (old) Department of Maori Affairs senior staff are on the move. Kai Hui (District Manager Auckland) has been sent on leave, and now that he has done his job up there Kim Workman is moving to Justice Department as Assistant Secretary (Penal).

Having done the job he was brought in by the State Services Commission to do Wilson Bailey (Deputy Secretary Corporate Services) is also moving to Justice Department. Whaimutu Dewes has accepted an appointment with Fletcher Challenge Ltd.

No news yet on where Dr Reedy and the remainder of his seventh floor are going.

 

Treasury

 

Poor old Treasury is taking a thoroughly deserved caning from all and sundry at the moment. Jim Bolger is even threatening to restructure the Treasury function! Give them a bit more rope and let them hang themselves.

 

Copyright and the Crown Law Office

 

You all know that under the law (Copyright Act 1962) you are not allowed to photocopy books and newsletters which have been written by someone else, unless you get their permission. You all knew that didn't you?

And you all know that the place in Wellington where they keep a whole lot of the Government's lawyers out of harm's way is called the Crown Law Office? This Crown Law Office must be the place where they know all about the law, including the Copyright Act 1962.

Well a little white dickie bird sitting on the kumara vine has just chirped a little story about the Crown Law Office being a very heavy photocopier of other people's intellectual property (you know - books and reports and things).

Funny that. I wonder if they break the law by photocopying Te Putatara? They should buy their own copy eh.

 

The Dinner Party Circuit

 

On Friday 24th the Dominion carried a front page report about Maoridom's spies which was taken from the February issue of Te Putatara.

Dear old Winston Peters lashed back on page 10 of the Evening Post calling me irresponsible and insidious. He also said the article was "unhelpful drivel." I get the impression that Winston was upset about something - apart from a Maori stealing the front page of the Dominion from him. He's still smiling though.

Reports poured in from the Capital's dinner party circuit all that weekend. Guess what they all talked about?

 

Maori

 

Where are they? In Parliament you all know we have Koro Wetere, Peter Tapsell, Whetu Tirikatene-Sullivan and Bruce Gregory from Labour. Well National have Winston Peters and Ross Meurant. I'm prepared to bet an arm and a leg that there are moore of them on the Hill too. It won't be long before we've doug them all out.

In the public service hierarchy Jaz McKenzie (CEO Labour) is married to a Maori, and Don Hunn (SSC) went to training college with Tamati and Tilly Reedy. Peter Boag at Internal Affairs has visited a lot of marae and has some fond memories, eh Peter.

The SIS has some good Maori people, and it does seem to have a reasonably balanced approach in its view of Maoridom. The other intelligence agencies, and the Ministry of External Relations and Trade, are still monocultural outposts of the Empire.

Bob Jones, daughters are Maori, and television personality Bob Parker is Maori.

More next month.

 

Support for Winston?

 

The grapevine (or perhaps it's a covert branch of the kumara vine) has reported that one of Winston Peters, supporters has been telling a tale around Parliament that I have given my support to Winston. They must be desperate, or else I must be a very important person. Desperate, I hear you all shouting.

 

Counter-Counter-Espionage

 

Judging from some of the weird stories coming off the kumara vine lately someone out there is trying to use Te Putatara to plant misinformation amongst the network, and to spread alarum and despond everywhere. A very devious strategy indeed. You wouldn't believe some of the garbage I've had to double check.

 

Aeroplanes

 

The kumara vine reports that aircraft have been crashing all over the place in the wake of the new pyramid game sweeping the country. You pay $750 to board the make-believe plane and if you get to sit in the pilot's seat you walk away with $6000 or so. There aren't many pilot's seats to share around.

When you play that sort of game it's always the little people who lose their money and as far as I'm concerned, those who take the little people for a ride are nothing more than cons. I hear that the police are taking a very close interest in some key players.

 

New Book

 

Dun Mihaka is about to launch a new book, and also to reprint "Whakapohane". Support our Maori authors. Make sure you buy a copy or two.

 

Newsletters

 

The National Library has just published its first quarterly issue of "Te Puna Matauranga". Write to National Librarian, P.O.Box 1467, Wellington to get on the list. No charge.

Project Waitangi also publishes a good newsletter. $20 per annum from Project Waitangi, P.O.Box 825, Wellington. Project Waitangi is a member of The Maori Alliance.

"The New Zealand Trainer" is produced quarterly by The School for Training of Trainers, Wellington College of Education, Private Bag, Karori, Wellington. A useful publication for all in the MACCESS Network#

 


 

 

 

National Party Hui

 

 

 

The Maori Committee of the Wellington Division of the Nats organised an open hui at Maraeroa Marae on Saturday 4th March. The Chairman of this committee is Reweti Brown. Ben Couch was in the chair for the hui, and Tony Mataira was the scribe.

I saw Rui Harris there, and Bill Nathan, and Dun Mihaka; and for a minute I thought I saw Jake. I'm sure it was you Jake!

To start; the very important manuhiri was late, and so we went on very late because he was having a whaikorero on his favourite marae, Radio Talkback. Well, when we finally did go on the marae tuturu, some cheeky kaikaranga from Ngati Whakaue told the paepae that we were Ngati Tureiti! Many of Ngati Tureiti didn't know what she said. Hardcase eh? Then right in the middle of the powhiri the dapper wee Scot, Winnie Te Pukeko Peters, strutted on and snuck up the front. The paepae had heaps of fun poking the big stick at us, and they poked a whole totara tree at Win. I think I like these National Party hui!

John Luxton MP, who is the National associate spokesman for Maori Affairs, was there; and he arrived on time. Thanks for the sub John.

Winston was the main speaker and in front of a Maori audience he was pretty careful and didn't poke too much stick at us. E hoa ma, by now we were just in the mood for poking some sticks back somewhere you understand.

Of course Winston was totally convinced that National would be the next government, and he told us what that government's policy will be for Maori Affairs if they get in. The Department will be resurrected and strengthened, and will take over the jobs of the Ministry and the Iwi Authorities. Back to where we started before He Tirohanga Rangapu, only they will make sure that the department is properly staffed this time.

Winston has no faith or trust in the ability of the iwi to properly manage public funds. He thinks the iwi is an outdated institution, not relevant to these times, and would prefer our needs to be met through Pakeha institutions including a Department of Maori Affairs. If National do get in Winston might have a lot of say in Maori Affairs policy, so maybe the iwi had better start working on him now if Winston's mind is going to be changed. It needs it you know.

The other major difference Winston has with Maoridom is his belief that the Treaty of Waitangi is a mirage. He does not seem to understand that recognition of the Treaty, and a confirmation of the pre-existing rights we were guaranteed by it, are essential to convince the iwi of Pakeha intentions to finally treat us as equals. In common with a lot of Pakeha people Winston seems to believe that we only pursue the Treaty, and treaty claims, because we want to line our pockets. That motivation is in the Pakeha tradition, not ours.

A major plank in National's Maori Affairs policy will be education as a means of Maori development. Can't argue with the sentiment, but on the past record of the education system I don't place much faith in this policy unless control of the education of Maori pupils passes into Maori hands.

Well, I haven't got my copy of your speech Winston but I still reported your hui. Now pay your subscription. Tell your mate Koro to pay his too#

 


 

 

 

The Hidden Maori

 

 

 

At the 1986 Census of Population and Dwellings there were 403,182 persons of Maori descent resident in New Zealand.

Let me correct that. There were 403,182 people who knew and admitted that they were of Maori descent. I reckon there are a whole lot more who are ashamed of their Maori heritage and don't even admit it to themselves if they can help it. There will be others who don't even know it. It's useless for me to guess how many there might be but it could be another 100,000, or even 200,000.

I read a book a few years ago which stated that every "white" Afrikaans family in South Africa has black ancestry, and that they have gone to extraordinary lengths to erase all record of it. It set me thinking about New Zealand.

Consider this. Anyone whose family has been in this country for four generations has a good chance that at least one of their 8 great-grandparents is Maori. For a fifth generation New Zealander this increases to 16 tipuna, and for the sixth generation 32. The chances double with every generation. I'm not a statistician or a demographer but I wouldn't mind betting that by the time someone is an eighth generation New Zealander with 128 grandparents, that someone will definitely be of Maori descent.

Now. Because the Pakeha culture is no longer based on whanaungatanga, or kinship, most Pakeha never bother to check out their marriage partners, whakapapa or family history before they start a family, so they stand a good chance of not even knowing if they have Maori children. Most Pakeha don't even know their own whakapapa beyond their four grandparents. Even if they vowed and declared never to marry a Maori they wouldn't know.

You can bet your boots that a good many of the people who go on about the dreaded Maori don't know that they have the dreaded Maori blood coursing through their own veins! When someone goes on about issues of race just ask them to name their 8 great-grandparents and their 16 great-great-grandparents.

Well all you 3 million-odd people out there. How many of you can safely say that you don't have Maori ancestry, or that your children are not of Maori descent? Most of you don't know do you?

 


 

 

 

Sun Tzu

 

 

 

Readers all over the motu have expressed an interest in the writings of the ancient Chinese master of strategy. These writings are the source of all the late Mao Tse-tung's strategic and tactical doctrine, and have also been known to the Russians for many centuries.

Sun Tzu lived about 500 BC. After he wrote "The Art of War" he came to the notice of Ho Lu, the King of Wu, and in 512 BC he became a general for the King. For about twenty years the armies of Wu were victorious. After Sun Tzu and the King of Wu died the king's descendants followed the teachings and continued to be victorious. And then they forgot. In 473 BC the armies of Wu were defeated and the kingdom expired.

"The Art of War" was first translated into English in 1905. The Art of War, paperback, ed James Clavell, Hodder & Stoughton, 1987#

 


 

 

 

Book Review

Waitangi: Maori & Pakeha Perspectives of the Treaty of Waitangi

Edited by I.H.Kawharu, Oxford University Press, Auckland, 1989. $29.95.

 

 

 

Iwi Authorities, The Maori Alliance, the New Zealand Maori Council, Project Waitangi, and a host of other organisations and individuals work away, each in their own special fields, at changing the relationships between the races in New Zealand. While this receives much publicity some very important and essential work quietly goes on in the background.

In all cultures there are "master ideas" which shape attitudes and behaviour by members of that culture. Often most of its members are not even remotely aware of the master ideas, or why they hold to particular ideals, practise particular rituals, and harbour particular fears and prejudices.

For example, one of the ancient master ideas of Maoridom as passed on by the tohunga Nepia Pohuhu is: "Kotahi tonu te wairua o nga mea katoa" (There is but one spirit of all things). This encapsulates the concept of the unity of all things in heaven and on earth, past present and future. It is the Maori's holistic view of himself, his kith and kin, and his total environment in perfect harmony.

The economic ideas now labeled Rogernomics were introduced to this country by storm. Such was the fervour of belief, and such was the lack of intellectual rigour in the universities, that the underlying master idea was not, and to this day has not been, subjected to intensive scrutiny. The master idea should have been thoroughly examined, then modified to blend into the New Zealand culture(s), before the policy was introduced. Such scrutiny is absolutely essential for a sovereign country with its own unique intellectual heritage and culture.

The master idea of Rogernomics is: "Self-interest is the only reliable human motivation". Alas, the unthinking adoption of that idea constitutes a direct and deeply wounding assault on Maoridom. The power culture's imposition of itself and its ideas upon the sensitivities of tikanga Maori has ever been so.

In order to improve race relations in New Zealand the underlying master ideas of the power culture will need to be re-discovered, re-examined and where necessary re-defined and adapted to the reality of a bicultural society. Only by exposing the underlying causes of racism, and treating it at source, will it be reduced to tolerable levels, if not eradicated.

Outstanding published examples of this process of intellectual reform are the reports of the Royal Commission on Social Policy and the Royal Commission on Electoral Reform, the reports and recommendations of the Waitangi Tribunal, Moana Jackson's report on the justice system, the work on racism by Paul Spoonley, and the comprehensive history "The Treaty of Waitangi" by Claudia Orange.

In this new book Professor Hugh Kawharu brings us a window onto more of this important work.

Each of the twelve contributors (seven Maori and five Pakeha) discusses his or her area of interest in relation to the Treaty and in all cases the master ideas of Pakeha New Zealand are challenged, and alternatives proposed. In some cases we find that the British tradition is actually in accord with the Maori, but has lost its way in transmission to New Zealand.

This is a book of mainly academic discourse but it is nevertheless an illuminating and exciting read.

I most enjoyed the chapter by Judge Paul McHugh on "Constitutional Theory and Maori Claims" in which he explains how the claims are clearly justifiable in accordance with fundamental principles of British constitutional theory. In short the Treaty of Waitangi validates the rights of Maori in accordance with both English common and constitutional law, and Maori customary law.

Professor Brookfield of the University of Auckland examines the New Zealand Constitution and the legitimacy of constitutional practice in this country. The flaws in past and present constitutional practice which failed to recognise Maori rights under English common law, and failed to preserve Rangatiratanga are explained. He states that: "It is essential to the legitimacy of the Constitution as we look at it today that there should be both the constitutional means, and the political will, to correct its flaws" and "....the flaws can be substantially corrected; and indeed, if the constitution is to satisfy Maori objections to its legitimacy, they must be."

Other equally interesting legal arguments are made by Auckland solicitor Frederika Hackshaw, Benedict Kingsbury of Oxford, and lecturer David Williams of the University of Auckland.

Historian Professor Sorrenson of the University of Auckland writes on the re-interpretation of New Zealand History and the role of the Waitangi Tribunal in this process. He concludes by saying: "But one thing is certain: so long as the Tribunal retains its retrospective jurisdiction to 1840, it will continue to recover a hitherto largely submerged Maori history of the loss of resources and mana, supposedly protected by the Treaty. The Tribunal's findings may not be palatable to many New Zealanders, but it would be perilous to ignore them."

Hugh Kawharu, Waerete Norman, Tipene O'Regan, and Dr Ranginui Walker write on some aspects of that Maori history and related claims and protest. Hugh covers the Orakei claim, Waerete the Muriwhenua claim, Tipene the Ngai Tahu claim, and Rangi writes on the Treaty as the focus of Maori protest.

The final two chapters are by Professor Mason Durie on social policy as related to the Treaty, and by Professor Bruce Biggs who gives a finely detailed analysis of the text of the Treaty.

This book is comprehensive coverage of the main strands of legal and historical intellectual reform related to the Treaty of Waitangi. The process of intellectual reform will be followed inevitably and inexorably by much needed social, cultural and economic reforms. One hopes that this will be sooner rather than later; and peaceful.

E Hugh, thank you for this taonga. Kia kaha#

 


 

 

 

 

Maori Alliance Hui

 

 

 

Regional Hui at Ratana Pa 6/7 May 89.

National Hui at Ratana Pa 10/11 June.

All welcome. Panui later.

 


 

 

 

 

More on the Con-Artists

 

 

 

Since last month's article on con men and women, reports have poured in from all over the motu giving the names and games of quite a few cons the kumara vine had not previously picked up. All of them fit the usual pattern in most respects, and all of them are still at large practicing their craft. It would appear that most iwi have been afflicted.

What makes them tick? Why do so many people get taken in?

From an early age we all are taught to fit in with and be part of the society we are born into. In Maoridom this means being instructed in tikanga Maori and learning the rules and customs that allow a Maori community to function without too much friction and strife. These days we also learn tikanga Pakeha and those rules and customs which allow us to be part of the larger New Zealand society. It is an enormous tribute to most Maori that they learn to live peaceably within both worlds, and that Maori people have had the flexibility and goodwill to adapt tikanga Maori to make way for tikanga Pakeha. It's a pity tikanga pakeha with its inbuilt inflexibility and intolerance hasn't been able to adjust to Aotearoa.

Whatever the tikanga, there are always misfits. Some people are over socialised and become excessively rigid in their attitudes, and others never progress beyond being greedy, spoilt, under-developed children.

The worst of these are described as psychopaths. Quite often they have had a disturbed childhood. They are strangers to shame, never feel guilty, and they live by their wits and aggression. Sometimes they lie and cheat their way throughout their lives. If they are clever enough, attractive enough, and aggressive enough, they can end up with great power, fame and fortune. Hitler, Stalin and Nixon (although not at all attractive) are extreme examples.

Some of the lesser varieties of psychopath end up as petty con-artists whose whole lives are bound up in lies and deceit.

Groups of people look for leaders to follow, and people want to believe in other people. In today's terrible economic circumstances people will grasp at any straw which might possibly drag them out of the soul destroying poverty most Maori communities are enduring. Hence we play Lotto and Aeroplanes and bet on the TAB; and regularly get taken in by con-artists. The con-artist tells people what they want to hear and once he or she has them hooked on lies, those lies get bigger and bigger until the people are actually mesmerised by the whole rotten fabrication.

They open up their hearts and give their money and their mana.

The bigger the lies become the more the people believe, and the more mesmerised they become. Those who try to expose the rot are often turned upon by the people, for if the evil lies are shown to be lies, their hopes and their dreams will be cruelly dashed, yet again.

It's a vicious and cruel game which plays with the lives of ordinary people and uses them to satisfy the psychopathic lust of the con-artist.

In the end the psychopath will self destruct, but sadly, they destroy untold lives in the process.#

 


 

 

 

Free Subscription Offer - Free Subscription Offer - Free Subscription Offer

 

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GET YOUR OWN SUBSCRIPTION ABSOLUTELY FREE!

 

This is all you have to do:

* Sell FIVE subscriptions ($45 each) to your friends, colleagues, or whanaunga.

* Send me their names and postal addresses PLUS a cheque (or cheques) for $225.00.

 

Your own subscription for 1989 will be ABSOLUTELY FREE.

I will send you and your five friends copies of Te Putatara from January 1989 until December 1989.

  

KIA TERE - BE QUICK

THIS OFFER CLOSES ON 30 APRIL 1989

*****

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*****

 Those who have already subscribed for 1989 may use this offer to pay for their 1990 subscription. Be quick. This offer also closes on 30 April 1989.

 


 

 

 

Dispatches from the Dungeon

 

 

 

Goodness gracious me. Te Hekeretari has got wind of my efforts to infiltrate the new Dungeon Bar in the Seventh Heaven of Te Maori Affair.

The kumara vine reports that because he can't trust the Maori Affairs Intelligence Agency (MAIA), and fears Te Real MAIA (Te Maori Alliance Intelligence Agency), he has hired some special intelligence consultants to keep tabs on me. I wonder if they're looking for some sandy soil to grow their own kumara vine, or if they're just digging for some dirt?

He has also ordered the construction of a secure guest reception area so that his staff's whanaunga can't get past the bouncers.

Such is the concern for security that staff now lock their doors just to keep me out. Then they lock their keys inside when they go to the wharepaku eh! One day one of them asked me to help break into their own office because they had locked their door to keep me out while they went out to avoid me while I was in. Pai kare, things are really secure.

Never mind though; in my undercover role as a newshound for Te Putatara all I do now is flash my smile (brilliant camouflage) and my Visa card as I sneak past to visit my news stringer (intelligence agent) in the broom cupboard. It's easy really when you've got most of the people on the seventh floor on your side; and when everyone wants to ask about Jake.

Occasionally, when things get tough, I have to don my disguise as a blind Scot with a limp in both legs. Then it's easy to slip quietly by without anyone noticing anything unusual. They're used to the blind leading the blind in Te Maori Affair.

All this hassle just to get to the broom cupboard, or to the New Dungeon Bar. It's enough to make you give up; if it wasn't so much fun.

Then, as I went down the stairs into the Old Dungeon (now called Alberts) on Friday 24th February at 4.20pm, who should I run into but an old cobber from the Army who now works in the SIS. True. E hoa ma, I'm sorry but I can't tell you who his name is because that's against the law, and anyway he's bigger than me.

"What do you think you're doing in my bar?" I demanded of him.

"Don't worry Ross," he said, "I'm one of your white spies. She'll be Jake mate!"

Jake? I'm sure Jake's not a she!

But that sounded like a good clue so I went down and spent the next two hours checking out all the women in Alberts to see if they were SIS plants; but they all claimed they were flowers, not plants. Not many of them would let me check them out properly either.

E hoa, this business is enough to make you porangi, you know. Mind you it helps to be a bit porangi round here, just so you don't stand out in the crowd. Ka kite ano#

 


 

 

Te Putatara is published by Te Aute Publications, P.O.Box 408, Wellington, New Zealand. It is available on payment of a subscription, and is free to all members of The Maori Alliance.

Subscriptions to Te Putatara are available from Te Aute Publications. $45 for 12 issues.

Copyright Ross Himona, Wellington.


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