for The Kumara Vine
P.O.Box 408, Wellington, New Zealand
ISSN 0114-2097 - Issue No.06/89 20 June 1989
"Ki te whai te mana Maori motuhake i runga i te kotahitanga me te tino rangatiratanga i roto i Te Tiriti o Waitangi."
Ki Te Tiriti o Waitangi, tena koe.
Ki te kaupapa o Te Kotahitanga Maori, tena koe.
E nga iwi o te motu, e nga hau e wha,
Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa.
Kia ora koutou. Welcome once again to the kumara vine. And a very special welcome to this month's new subscribers. It's been a good month. May there be many more.
This month we take a break from the Freemasons to make way for some specials. The saga of the secrets of the Freemasons will be back next month.
At a rangatahi hui I was privileged to attend recently, I was deeply impressed with the calibre of our next generation of leaders. They discussed the topic of leadership with a deep understanding of human affairs, with a passion to serve te iwi whanui, and with compassion for all New Zealanders.
Young people from universities, polytechs, secondary schools, the prisons, and off the streets, spoke with a single purpose. Some were fluent and confident; some spoke haltingly for the first time in public. But they spoke as one. Not only were they knowledgeable about tikanga Pakeha; they were keen to be immersed in tikanga Maori. In both worlds they are refreshingly open to ideas and concepts, and willing to learn more. In so many ways they have returned to the true values of our tipuna.
Many of us, concerned and searching for ways to uplift our people, fear for the future of Maoridom. Perhaps we fear only because we cannot predict. We fear the unknown, and we fear that the troubles of the present will project themselves into the future.
But sometimes one does not need to be matakite to see into the future. Indeed in these troubled times, we must look nowhere else than to our rangatahi, for they are our future.
I have looked at them, and am content that that future is secure.
Enjoy your read,
Fan Mail.......................... 2
Wellington Watch.................. 3
NZ vs Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu.. 5
A Spoof from Spooksville.......... 7
Te Maori Affair vs Tamaki MDA..... 9
A Book for Rangatahi.............. 10
Dispatches from the Dungeon....... 12
Kia ora koe e Ross,
Nga mihi nui o te wa ki a koe mo to mahi whakamarama i a matou nga haerere haerenga o nga ahuatanga e pa ana ki a Ngai-taua.
Otira, anei a matou utu mo to panui, kua tino piki te koa me te kaha i a matou i te taenga mai o ou kupu no reira nei a matou hoki hei tautoko i a koe.
Na Katarina Wirangi Mataira
E hoa Ross,
I am sick and tired of those posers at Te Upoko O Te Ika pretending to be me. I'm the real Jake. All this talk about Jake and the Fat Man sounds just a bit fishy to me. I want you to tell your readers once and for all that Jake is alive and well and living at Te Tai Rawhiti, not at Te Whanga-Nui-A-Tara. As far as we're concerned you're all Fat Man there in the Capital.
By the way, the rest of your scurrilous magazine is quite good. Just get your facts right and you'll make a writer one day. A Fat Man writer! Ho Ho Ho.
[Now that you've paid your sub you can abuse me all you like! - Ross].
My daughter showed me a copy of Te Putatara. I expected to be informed but was delighted to be highly entertained as well. I would like to subscribe.
P.S. My daughter said I was to say it was a red copy.
[You've just become one of my favourite people Dulcie - Ross].
This does seem rather expensive - more than the glossy "Tu Tangata" (but look what happened to that!). Curiosity makes me want to read your news sheet. Perhaps there will be an update on the sighting of landing craft and gun runners in Northland a la Holmes Show!! Can't wait!
[It is a bit expensive isn't it. But it doesn't cost much more than one pack of cigarettes or one bottle of beer each month. "Tu Tangata" was subsidised by the Department of Maori Affairs - in 1986/87 it was $85,000 plus the editor's salary and expenses. "Te Putatara" gets no subsidies and no grants. That way I can say what I like, provided it doesn't upset too many subscribers. Your subs pay for the printing and postage costs plus related expenses like advertising, tolls, stationery, etc. One day it might make enough to pay a salary too.
As to the crazy stories about landing craft and gun-running and armed revolutions put about by Mrs Fawcett and others, maybe some news next month - Ross].
A Round-up of Capital Events
Iwi Transition Agency
The selection of a General Manager seems to have run on to the rocks. None of the four on the shortlist was appointed (Ripeka Evans, Neville Baker, Willie Kaa, Bob Henare). The selection panel was Don Hunn and Dave Swallow from the State Services Commission, and Sir Norman Perry, Tama Nikora, Druis Barrett and Annette Sykes.
Kara Puketapu has been appointed as a consultant to lead the ITA Establishment Unit until the end of September or until a General Manager is appointed. Kara now has an office on the 7th floor of Maori Affairs. Enjoy yourself way up there in Seventh Heaven Kara. Don't let the rarefied atmosphere get to you. And say "Kia Ora" to our mutual friend for me. Who? E Kara, Tamati of course.
Dave Swallow told the media that the SSC was in no hurry to appoint, but the real story is that there are some politics to sort out first. Apart from the fact that the SSC would like to delay as long as possible to give the whole idea time to disappear. Preferably until after the 1990 elections. Apparently the selection panel is to meet again in a few weeks.
Nifty Neville made a strong run at the job, and no doubt he will be using the delay to put together an even stronger case. The kumara vine reports that he had about twenty kaumatua supporting his bid, and that he interviewed well. My guess is that Cabinet rejected him, although Koro has supported him in the past. Neville has always had a lot of support, with many notables of The Old Guard in his network. Some from Te Old Old Guard too.
More Support for the Treaty
The Young Womens Christian Association has committed itself to biculturalism and to the Treaty of Waitangi. Another pillar of the establishment commits.
Who owns the Airwaves?
A brilliant strategy unfolds. Treasury has been busily converting all sorts of things into property rights so they can be sold off. The only trouble is that under the Treaty of Waitangi none of these things belong to the State so they can't be sold, can they.
Back in the bad old days they converted land held by iwi and hapu into individual title so it could be acquired by tauiwi. That caused 149 years of strife. Now they are trying to do the same with fisheries, forestry rights, water, education, health, and the airwaves.
The New Zealand Maori Council and the Wellington Maori Language Board are contesting ownership of the airwaves. It may seem "patently absurd" [MP Jim Gerard] but it is in fact the perfect case to fight the whole thrust of Treasury's attempt to impose it's extremist medieval economic theory upon the nation.
Security, 1990, and All That
The Tamaki Makaurau branch of the kumara vine reports the security services and police intelligence have increased their surveillance of Maoridom, getting ready for 1990. Apparently the operation will be based in Auckland with you "radicals" in the North coming in for special surveillance. E hoa ma, just what are you up to up there you naughty people you?
There have been suggestions that well over fifty Maori people have been recruited as observers and informants. Don't get paranoid like them. But keep them busy at your hui; have some fun. Give them plenty to report. Why not volunteer to be a spy yourself.
Those among you who might be labelled "radical" or even "dangerous" (those of you who read Te Putatara eh); make sure you clear your unpaid parking fines now, if you don't want to spend time in the cells during the Games. It's an old trick.
I reckon tauiwi are the ones they should be watching eh. They're real dangerous some of those tauiwi right wing radicals. You know; people like Treasury officials and commercial fishermen.
Iwi Empowering Bill
The kumara vine reports that the new bill is not yet ready to be brought into Parliament. Most Iwi Authorities would by now have read a memo (Tom Woods to Koro Wetere) which fell off the back of a truck a while ago and spread around the vine. This memo described in detail the intent of the Bill, but my information says that a few things have changed since the memo was written. We will be lucky if the Bill manages to recognise the iwi in law without enslaving them to the Parliament. Empowerment is the last thing that will happen.
Judging from some recent public pronouncements from Te Dear Old Fast Fading But Still Weakly Kicking Department of Maori Affair, urban authorities are definitely out. Since over 50% of Maori people live in Auckland and Wellington this tells me only one thing; the resources which will be channelled to Te Iwi Maori through the new "Iwi Authorities" will be negligible. Probably just Rural Land Development. Obviously most of Maoridom will still be serviced through the "mainstream" institutions of the power culture.
This fits with persistent information from the kumara vine which says that the State Services Commission and Treasury do not intend to advance beyond their original plans published in the green book "He Tirohanga Rangapu" in April 1988. And you thought the public service would commit itself to the later government policy in "Te Urupare Rangapu" didn't you? Not really eh.
Well everything seems to indicate that the SSC does not intend to allow any power sharing with Iwi Authorities. It really does believe that it can create a bicultural public service which will properly serve Maoridom. In it's own image of course. When you look at its choice of Chief Executives you can't help but be sceptical.
BNZ: The People's Bank
Te good old Bank of New Zealand. Now there's a bank with aroha for the people. Not like Te Treasury.
Have you all heard how much they are having to write off because of bad loans they made to the people, with the people's money? $1.29 billion; e hoa ma, that's B-I-L-L-I-O-N. Then along comes our friendly People's Government and gives our dear old BNZ another $800 million; e hoa ma, that's M-I-L-L-I-O-N. Just in case they're short of cash you understand. $2.09 BILLION all told.
I wonder where all that aroha went? I didn't get any of it. Did you?
New Zealand vs Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu
With a mind-boggling display of colonial imperialism Peter Boag, Secretary for Internal Affairs, told the Select Committee on the Maori Fisheries Bill that his department has decided "it is not currently clear who could be classified as the Tangata Whenua of the Chatham Islands".
Peter Boag, the man who is now an expert on such matters, having conducted a royal progress through the marae of Aotearoa as part of the Puao-Te-Ata-Tu Maori Perspective Advisory Committee. He's the one who is going to great lengths to capture responsibility for much of the Maori Affairs portfolio after Te Demolition.
He also trots out the old chestnut about the Moriori and the Maori being at odds.
The simple fact is that of all the tribal people of Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu 75% are of mixed "Moriori" and "Maori" descent as a result of the usual social and political process of intermingling. So much so that many prefer to be known as "tribal" people rather than to be classified as either "Moriori" or Maori. Any attempt by Government to revive the old "Moriori" myth is just the political device of Divide and Rule.
Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu comprises the hapu of Wheteina, Nga Rauru, Ngati Mutunga, Ngati Tama and Te Ati Awa. They have formed Te Runanga O Wharekauri-Rekohu and are presently working hard researching their whakapapa and other history to back up their claim to tangata whenua status in the Chatham Islands. Of course they are actively opposed by the European descent people on the islands, by the Chatham Islands County Council, and by commercial fishing interests, all of whom claim to be Chatham Islanders. The interesting and foolproof way to decide who are real Chatham Islanders and who are just there for the fishing is to watch who stays there to die. Not a lot of the European ones. The rest are just there for the money.
The people of Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu comprise about 50% of the total population of the Chathams, but when you take away the government officials, and the New Zealand based fishing industry people (those who are not there to die there), the tangata whenua are the majority. No doubt about that.
For most of their post-contact history the tangata whenua of Wharekauri-Rekohu have been subjected to an extreme form of cultural oppression due to their distance from the centre of colonial power (about 450 nautical miles), their isolation, and their small numbers. Their anguish has been silent. In the last year or two they have found a voice, have broken through the silence, and are now pressing their claims against the Government of New Zealand.
They need the support of all iwi.
New Zealand harvests about $100 million dollars annually (excluding taxes) from the Chathams fishery. In return the Government pays a subsidy of about $6 million for transport and other essential services. However, this subsidy is now in doubt and Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu are justifiably suspicious of the Government's motives. They suspect that the Government would be very happy to "encourage" all permanent Chatham Islanders to migrate to New Zealand. They fear a policy of economic imperialism which would force them from their turangawaewae.
They can't be blamed for feeling this way when their traditional fishery has been arbitrarily confiscated and converted into property rights (Individual Transferable Quota) by the Government, and then sold off to non-resident fishing interests. The tangata whenua are now the dispossessed. Greed and imperialism know no bounds, especially when disguised as responsible economic policy.
Their fears are entirely understandable when you also read of serious attempts to exclude them from the provisions of the Treaty of Waitangi on the basis that the Chathams were not part of New Zealand in 1840, and that the "Moriori" did not sign. I thought that New Zealand was not part of New Zealand in 1840 eh. The colonials once again are rewriting the history of the tangata whenua to suit themselves.
All is not lost yet. Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu have a very good case under the Treaty of Waitangi, under British Law, and in International Law, to gain their full independence or a form of self-government in free association with NZ. This would enable the tangata whenua to take full control of the vast fisheries resource which is theirs by right.
The Chathams are probably the only place where the tangata whenua, as the majority of the population, can achieve full self-government and choose their own forms of constitutional association with the Government of New Zealand. In my opinion it is therefore the case which all iwi should support all the way. It should become the test case in our struggle for equitable constitutional arrangements in New Zealand, which recognise the special place of the tangata whenua.
The Government are well aware of all this, and have attempted to ignore or belittle the representations of Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu. The Minister responsible is Dr Michael "Bonaparte" Bassett, who is well known as the Minister for Arrogance, Belittle and Ignore. He is well served by Boag the Empire Builder. Between them they actually govern the Chathams (through a compliant tauiwi Commissioner for the Chatham Islands). Marie Broad of Internal Affairs is the official responsible for Chathams matters and is viewed with equal suspicion by the people of Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu.
Recently the Government commissioned consultants to review the Chatham Islands economy. They are to focus on an analysis of the economy, an analysis of current government assistance, alternative strategies for the delivery of government assistance to the islands, and alternative constitutional arrangements (in the context of delivery and provision of government assistance). Attempts by Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu, supported by the New Zealand Maori Council, to have some input into the consultancy have been imperially and imperiously ignored by the three B's; Bonaparte, Boag and Broad.
Given this government's track record of transforming consultancy and consultation into hard core propaganda, Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu are fully justified in fearing the outcome of the review.
Support them. In the first instance write to Jack Daymond, The Chairman, Te Runanga O Wharekauri-Rekohu, P.O.Box 102, Waitangi, Chatham Islands. Just offer him your support. Don't forget to put them on your mailing lists. Count them in.
INTELLIGENCE REPORT 101/89
Page 1 of 2
To: The Kumara Vine
From: Te Maori Intelligence Agency (MIA)
Subject: The One New Zealand Foundation
The One New Zealand Foundation was started by Peter Clark of Tauranga to oppose Maori gains in the political arena. It would have been just another fringe group, such as the many that pop up in Tauranga from time to time, except that it received an injection of funds from Bob Martin, the president of the NZ Federation of Commercial Fishermen. Martin was then installed as Patron, or Godfather. This funding has allowed the One New Zealand Foundation to keep up a high media profile and to present itself as a broad-based popular movement. The Foundation claims to have 11,000 members, which is about twice the combined membership of all the National and Labour Parties at the moment.
Whilst the One New Zealand Foundation is opposed to the whole thrust of the Maori Renaissance, it has selected the Waitangi Tribunal and Project Waitangi as two key targets for its propaganda. The Tribunal has been publicly described by Clark as a "kangaroo court". The Government has been attacked for providing grants to Project Waitangi. They are opposed to "tribalism", claiming that some interests are "hell bent on driving us back to tribalism, and tribalism is the antithesis of democracy." The Wellington spokesman describes their members as "decent middle-of-the-road New Zealanders", implying of course that the rest of us aren't.
From early on, The One New Zealand Foundation was targeted by MIA as a possible vehicle for infiltrating the anti-Maori movement. This method of operation was borrowed by us from the USA, Russia, France, Israel and South Africa, which have all infiltrated the Freemasons, and use this membership to gain deep cover for their agents. The successful infiltration of the One New Zealand Foundation will enable us to move on to other right wing groups.
The public profile of the One New Zealand Foundation is a sham. There are only two figures at the moment. Peter Clark is the Chairman, and Colin Robertson the Wellington spokesman. According to Robertson, Clark is just the Chairman of the Steering Committee. Bob Martin is not a real member. He just provided the money to get others involved in his campaign against Maoridom.
Clark has been a farmer and school headmaster, and is now a businessman. He is well-meaning but of the old brigade which believes that race relations used to be perfect (when the Maori kept their place and kept their mouths shut). Like an old general he lives in the glorified past and fights yesterdays battles. He does not appear to have any sinister motives or to pose any threat.
Page 2 of 2
Robertson is a younger warhorse and banking executive [Reserve Bank] who is not willing to be photographed by the media. This sinister aspect of his character makes him a much more serious proposition. His constant assertions that his family has been here for four generations, and that he is a "tremendously loyal New Zealander", are the usual cover for red-necked bigots presenting themselves as rational people. He even claims to have a "good Maori friend", which as the kumara vine knows, is an often used cover for anti-Maori activities. We believe Robertson will eventually hijack The One New Zealand Foundation from Clark. Section C has studied this man and is confident that he will easily fall prey to the Honey Trap when the time is right.
The MIA policy of developing the Ngai Tahu Factor as a potent weapon has been proven in this operation.
An agent codenamed TE KAKI HOHONU (Hohonu kaki, papaku uaua?) has been placed close to the top. TE KAKI HOHONU has done an excellent job and has pinpointed key areas for us to infiltrate. She keeps up a regular flow of information whilst not taking part in any operational activities herself.
An agent skilled in the Honey Trap has begun a close study of the target.
Twenty five Ngai Tahu Factor "sleepers" have been successfully planted in the One New Zealand Foundation in key localities and will take no active part in the Foundation until OPERATION WHAKANGARO is launched. They have been given the highest level of training in red-necked racist bigotry, and in the comic arts, and once activated will have a devastating effect on the credibility of the organisation, and will be entertaining as well.
Our Pakeha cousins have agreed to cooperate with us in a joint operation to infiltrate all branch committees as The One New Zealand Foundation gets itself organised. The Tauranga Branch is already infiltrated and the Wellington Branch is a prime target. Wellington will be the easiest to control, and will be the one where maximum damage to credibility will be inflicted. Our cousins have placed the whole of their national organisation on standby for this operation.
We do not believe that The One New Zealand Foundation poses a significant threat while it remains under the control of Peter Clark. However the usual pattern is that such organisations get taken over by extremists [as with the New Labour Party]. It will then become dangerous. We believe this will happen in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch. We are well advanced in our planning to counter that eventuality.
E nga tutei katoa, kia hiwa ra, kia hiwa ra. Kia kaha. Na Sir Titonui.
Tamaki Maori Development Authority vs Te Maori Affair
The Department of Maori Affairs has decided to lodge a complaint with the police against Tamaki Maori Development Authority (TMDA). They are attempting to recover monies they believe belong to the Crown.
In this long running argument both sides asked the Audit Office to adjudicate, and after the inspection had been carried out, the Audit Office told some of the media that it was not overly concerned about TMDA. According to Bert McLean of TMDA he was also told the same.
Then the big attack came in, launched by Deputy Secretary Neville Baker.
Whatever the reason for the attack TMDA have decided to take it to the courts to resolve, and after some initial imperious commands, Maori Affairs seem committed to the courts as well. Perhaps only then will the real reasons, and the real rights and wrongs of the case, be revealed. It is certainly time for the Department of Maori Affairs colonial methods of enforcement to be subjected to the scrutiny of the courts.
However, Neville Baker initially chose to fight this one through the media, showing himself to be the very model of a responsible Chief Executive. He was quoted in the Sunday Star:
"They have no excuse for not recognising money granted for specific purposes," Baker says. "No-one will tolerate the shuffling of funds without consultation. Responsible management must prevail."
Between 1981 and 1986 Professor Ngatata Love ran training and employment schemes at Palmerston North. The schemes were managed by his "Management Education and Development Centre" (MEDC) at Massey University. The University itself used to make the payments for salaries and overheads, and would be reimbursed by MEDC after the money was claimed back from the Department of Labour.
However by the end of 1986 the MEDC owed the university money which was not able to be reclaimed from the Labour Department. On 2 October 1986 Mr Baker sent a memo to Ngatata Love:
"Under the new Government ACCESS policies $14 million has been allocated to the creation of ACCESS programmes, most of which will involve the transfer of resources from Work Skills Development Programmes to ACCESS."
"You may be assured that the University will not incur costs in the closing down phase. After the final Labour Department reconciliation being negotiated now, the new Government ACCESS programme will assume any remaining responsibility."
In 1987 Massey University invoiced the Department of Maori Affairs for $216,446.20 being the outstanding debt owed to it by Professor Love's operation. It attached the memo from Neville Baker as it's authority to invoice Maori Affairs.
Maori Affairs staff resisted paying this debt for a long time. It is understood from the kumara vine that in the last financial year at least part of it has been paid from Vote: Maori Affairs. I wonder whether it came from Maori ACCESS?
E hoa Neville, I don't know about the rights or wrongs of that deal, but TMDA could sure use some of the same consideration mate.#
Book for Rangatahi: The Tao of Leadership, Leadership Strategies for a New Age
by John Heider. Bantam Books, USA, 1986. $12.20
A few weekends ago Tuaiwa Rickard called rangatahi from all iwi to a hui organised by herself and Pauline Tangiora at Te Whaingaroa-Kite-Whenua, Raglan. The hui was notable for the quality of korero, and the unity of purpose shown by the rangatahi.
Particularly impressive was their grasp of ancient principles of leadership centred in the well-being of the group; be it whanau, hapu, iwi, or any other social, economic, or political grouping. There was little grandstanding; there were no optometrists (I-doctors), no arguments.
Since the coming of tauiwi, not only have our lands, waters and wahi tapu been colonised; so too have our minds. This is very noticeable in many who seek the mantle of leadership. Too often leadership is thought to be merely a fine performance on the paepae, or the attainment of "kaumatua" status, or even being chosen by the Pakeha to "represent" the people. Too often leadership is thought to begin and end with whakapapa, or Pakeha status.
Looking like a leader and being a leader are two entirely different things.
The rangatahi are well aware of this. After all, in the mad scramble for resources brought about by the false promise of "devolution", there have been untold displays of individual greed and arrogance, in the name of leadership; by pretenders to leadership. The rangatahi have been treated over the last three years to many lessons in how not to be leaders in their generation. The heartening thing is that they are learning from the spectacle, and starting to speak out.
Leadership means producing the goods; for the people grow thin on boasts, promises, and words alone.
Listening to the rangatahi in Raglan I was reminded of ancient principles and practices of leadership. In a traditional society the survival of society itself depends upon leaders who help to extract the very last ounce of talent and skill from every member of the group; upon leaders who help others to help themselves. Grandstanders and those intent on individual gain get bypassed, regardless of age, heritage, or oratorical skill.
This book, "The Tao of Leadership", is an adaptation of ancient Chinese principles of leadership for a modern age. It is based on the "Tao Te Ching" written by Lao Tzu about 2500 years ago. I imagine it would also closely parallel some of the teachings of the whare wananga of our own tipuna.
In any case, I believe it to be a very good treatise on leadership for the coming generation of Maori. I know from listening to them, that in their search for a new leadership, they already believe in much of what was taught in ancient times; and forgotten in our own. These are the simple truths of old such as:
"Natural events are potent because they act in accordance with how things work. They simply are."
"Study natural processes: the light in the sky, the gravity of earth, the unfolding of your own ideas and insights, the emptiness of space, the fullness of life, and the behaviour of saints."
"Imagine what would happen if these processes were neurotic and self-centred: a lazy sky flickers; gravity varies from moment to moment; your mind is irrational; space is agitated; life is abortive; the saints are worthless models. Nothing works."
"The wise leader knows better than to be neurotic and self-centred. Potency comes from knowing what is happening and acting accordingly. Paradoxically, freedom comes from obedience to the natural order."
"Since all creation is a whole, separateness is an illusion. Like it or not, we are team players. Power comes through cooperation, independence through service, and a greater self through selflessness."
To those who would strive for power the ancients had this to say:
"All power and effectiveness come from following the law of creation. There is no substitute for knowing how things happen and for acting accordingly."
"Everything, like it or not, is bound by this principle. The principle is like the blueprint for everything."
"All power derives from conscious or unconscious cooperation with the principle."
"The single principle is manifest everywhere, all the time."
"All birth and growth and death that ever happened, or is happening today, or will happen in the future behaves according to this one rule of existence."
"To be sure, new forms do emerge with the passage of time, but they still conform to the same old principle."
Tao is universal.
Leadership is an old but often forgotten art.
NEW RELEASE! NEW RELEASE!
THE TREATY OF WAITANGI
Questions and Answers: $9.90
A resource kit for Pakeha produced by Project Waitangi.
A follow on from the Waitangi Tribunal Kit.
Everything you wanted to know about the Treaty (but were too afraid to ask?!)
Available from: Project Waitangi,
Telephone: (04) 829-300
ROTARY ADMITS WOMEN
FREEMASONRY TO FOLLOW?
Rotary International has voted to allow women to join its ranks.
It must surely be time for the Freemasons to do the same eh. Can you imagine them perving on the left breast of female initiates during their initiation ceremony? I reckon a few women in the organisation would sort out some of their childish goings-on, don't you?
Dispatches from the Dungeon Bar
E hoa ma, the Dungeon was packed out. Last week it was so packed that Bill Kaua, the Emperor of the Ikaroa District of Te Maori Affair, he had to hold his court in the stairwell between the Dungeon and the street. You couldn't tell the courtiers from the bouncers eh.
I complained to the management for not providing more regal accommodations, but they said we ought to be grateful, because even the stairwell is more hospitable than the executive floor of Te Maori Affair.
I fought my way to the bar through a mass of tauiwi, and waiting for me there was an old friend with a worried frown on his brow. The first thing he asked me was to go and check them all out just in case the place had been invaded by the SIS, or Police Intelligence. Well I checked them all out and I discovered that they were mostly redundant senior public servants. It took some of them thirty or forty years before they started drinking in the Dungeon.
It takes some people a long time to reach the sensible conclusion that the best place to drink is the cheapest place to drink. Maori people are smart like that eh? It only takes us about thirty or forty seconds to work that out!
That must be why Bill Kaua was drinking in the stairwell with the bouncers. He must have worked it out too.
Deep inside the Dungeon I found a small cell of the kumara vine having a korero with the bottoms of their glasses. They had brought a new recruit (a Pakeha no less) who was joining the vine after losing his job in the public service. I hear there are about 160 people about to lose their jobs with the State Services Commission. You can expect the Dungeon Bar to be overflowing with them soon. Bill Kaua's Court may be forced up the stairs to the pavement. Never mind eh; these people are a rich source of recruits with succulent information for the kumara vine.
I can't wait for the day when Dr Graham Scott and some of his mean little minions at Treasury end up drinking in the Dungeon. We could use them as a rich source of fertiliser for the vine eh.
Anyway, you remember the Pakeha recruit, well he was a veritable cornucopia of inside information. The only trouble was, his information was thirty or forty years old. Still, even the State Services Commission's information on how to deal with the Maori is about thirty years old, from the original Hunn Report in 1960. This Pakeha recruit; maybe there's still a chance for him to be a Chief Executive in the public service. He seems far enough out of date eh.
In the Dungeon Bar I just drink orange juice. E hoa ma, those fullahs reckon it's so I can remember all the information they let slip when they're haurangi with the beer. Well all of us are porangi one way or another. Orange cost more than beer eh.
Te Putatara is published monthly by Te Aute Publications, P.O.Box 408, Wellington, New Zealand.
3 months $12.00
6 months $23.00
12 months $45.00
Copyright - Ross Himona.