TE PUTATARA

 

 

A Newsletter for The Kumara Vine
P.O.Box 408, Wellington, New Zealand

ISSN 0114-2097 - Issue No 8/89 21 August 1989

 


 

 

 

Putatara! Putatara!
Toi te hapu, toi te iwi, toi te mana:
te mana wairua, te mana whenua, te mana tangata; te mana Maori.
Ka whawhai tonu ake! Ake! Ake!
E nga iwi o te motu, e nga hau e wha,
Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa.

 

 

 

 

The Maori Congress

 

 

 

Te Putatara wholeheartedly supports the recent iwi initiative towards kotahitanga. Hui Whakakotahi at Ratana Pa on 11/12 August, with over 2000 people in attendance, shows just how well supported the idea is, 149 years after the Treaty.

And the other 400,000 of us, who were not there, wait eagerly for the movement to flourish; to reach out, and to enrich all our lives.

In recent times all of the fifty to eighty iwi have stood up and publicly proclaimed themselves. This has been a wonderful development at a time when Government is trying to restrict the number of "iwi" it deals with. We CAN force tauiwi to do things on our terms, for we are a 400,000 strong lobby, if only we can get it together. The way to assert mana Maori in Aotearoa is to organise. Organise for power; kaha Maori.

Tauiwi will fight back. He fears and despises the iwi. His fear and white supremacist prejudice makes him think he knows best, about us. This disease breeds policies to obliterate us, slowly but surely.

The disease has infected far too many of our own. The iwi will need to work hard to reclaim the minds that have been colonised, and to convince them all to support iwi, then Congress. A congress of iwi needs all iwi, and an iwi is not an iwi without all the people.

Those legions of us who live in the cities, also look forward to representation. Will our iwi come to town to reclaim us all, or shall we borrow a strategy from age-old tradition, start anew, and form our own?

No reira, kei te mihi atu ki a koutou katoa, nga iwi o te motu.

 

Kia ora ra,

Ross Himona.

 


 

 

 

 

A Kaupapa for Congress

 

 

 

The first thing to get right is the kaupapa.

The kaupapa will be a statement of purpose that all iwi will agree to, and from which all else will flow, including a structure. If the kaupapa is not right, nothing else will be. In fact, the structure should be the very last thing to consider. Too often we fail because we look first to structure, then become victims of structural inadequacy, and unwilling to admit our initial mistake.

On its own, a stated intent to "unite the iwi" is not a kaupapa. It does not lead on to why, and how.

The Treaty of Waitangi is NOT the kaupapa for a Congress of Iwi. The Treaty is the kaupapa which will eventually bring unity (in diversity) between iwi and TAUIWI, for THEY too are party to the Treaty. That the Treaty is not a kaupapa which will unify the iwi can also be plainly seen at the Waitangi Tribunal, where claim is met with cross-claim.

A kaupapa for a Congress must go back before the Treaty, and before the Confederation of 1835, both of which were instigated by tauiwi. We must look at what it is that ALL iwi share in common with ALL other iwi. What it is that ALL iwi are, that they wish to remain. What it is that ALL iwi have, that they wish to keep. What it is that ALL iwi can or must do, to help ALL other iwi.

Only then will we have a kaupapa.

Even if it takes another two years of hui to get the kaupapa right, that time will be a wise investment in the future. It is the first and most important step that must be right, before anything else is decided.

 


 

 

 

 

TE PUTATARA

 

 

"...you can muffle the drum, and you can loosen the strings of the lyre, but who shall command the skylark not to sing?"

- Kahlil Gibran

************

 

TE PUTATARA is published monthly by TE AUTE PUBLICATIONS, P.O.Box 408, Wellington, New Zealand.

Editor
Writer
Tea Boy

Ross Himona

Copyright: Ross Himona, 1989

All material appearing in TE PUTATARA is copyright. Contributions are welcomed. Letters to the tea boy are also welcomed.

************

 

 

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1 copy $4.00
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Subscribers please note that your subscriptions cover up to and including the month which appears on the address label of your envelope.

 


 

 

 

 

THIS MONTH

 

 

The Maori Congress................. 1

A Kaupapa for Congress............. 2

Fan Mail .......................... 3

Wellington Watch .................. 4

He Pepeha Mo Enei Ra............... 7

Two Books.......................... 9

Dispatches from the Dungeon Bar....10

A Cleric's Tale....................10

 


 

 

 

 

Fan Mail

 

 

 

Sir,

I've had enough. Jake and I have been married for 15 happy years now and some other bitch up and yaps on about my husband. This is the only marriage I've ever known and except for the nights he's away working, we've never been apart. If he's overweight for you, he's a topweight at home, and the children and I love him dearly. He swears that the person "Mrs Jake" is talking about is someone else.

We both read your paper. It's a bit hard to follow at times but mostly we read the bits about him, Jake. I sometimes think you make Maori Affairs look silly. But they're not really. When I go in there, they usually give me a cup of tea before they send me to another floor. The tea is nice.

Could I please have the address of the lady who calls herself Mrs Jake.

Yours faithfully,
Reriko Jake (Mrs).
Wellington.

 

 

##

"Tena koe - Ross Himona - e noho mai na i te riu o Whanganui-A-Tara."

Tena koe, Te Rangatira,

Ka titiro ake ahau ki to Reta Panui "Te Putatara" ka whakaro ake ahau me ota tetahi kia haere mai ki ahau mo te Tau.

Tino pai to whakatakoto i nga korero, he ngahau kei roto. Engari, me mea ka ata titirohia, ka kitea te tikanga me te ahua o te kupu korero. He Tohunga nohou ki te whakatakoto i te reo o Tauiwi, tino pai nga wahi korero kei te hunatia e nga kaiwhakahaere ate Kawanatanga. Ka hunaia te korero e te tangata, e pa ana ki te Iwi, a, kia wai ranei, ka mohiotia te whakaaro, me te tikanga kei muri. Kua noho ko koe te kai tirotiro mo era ahua inaianei.

No reira, kua tukuna atu to -Subscription Order- mo to Reta Panui Te Putatara.

Heoi ano,
Noho ora mai Naku noa
Na Cambridge Tipene Pani
Nuhaka.

 


 

 

 

 

Te Iwi O Wharekauri-Rekohu

 

 

 

The kumara vine reports from the Chathams that the networks are building, and Te Runanga O Wharekauri-Rekohu grows stronger day by day. Support networks of expatriate Chatham Islanders are now in place at Otautahi, Te Whanganui-A-Tara, and at Tamaki Makaurau. [One hapu was omitted from the June issue. The full list of hapu is Wheteina, Te Hamata, Nga Rauru, Ngati Mutunga, Ngati Tama and Te Ati Awa].

 


 

 

 

TV Plod

 

 

 

The kumara vine reports a video crew travelling the motu passing itself off as an overseas TV crew. The funny thing is that they are only filming you Maori radicals, and activists, and veteran land rights campaigners (all you Te Putatara readers). My sources say they look awfully like Her Majesty's Most Loyal New Zealand Police People, or Security.

E hoa ma, this must be the Police Intelligence project to commemorate 1990 eh! Wonder if they got a grant from the 1990 Commission, or the Arts Council, or the Film Commission?

 


 

 

 

Wellington Watch

A Round-up of Capital Events

 

 

 

Te Niu PM in te Pi-hive on te Hill

 

E hoa ma, didn't David Lange take them by surprise eh?

He may not be a successful Caucus infighters, but he sure does have the ability to take his opponents by surprise. He would also be one of the few politicians ever to quit while he was ahead. The rest hang on to their power to the grim death.

Despite being held hostage by his own extreme right-wing Cabinet, David Lange did manage to advance the Maori cause just a little, but nowhere near as much as he pledged from his Government at Hui Taumata 1984. And from December 1986 onwards he seemed to give up on us, somewhat prematurely, but not entirely without (political) reason.

Now we have Geoffrey Palmer as te PM.

A couple of years ago a survey was quietly and informally conducted in te Pi-hive, and around nga department, to uncover attitudes to Maori. Politicians and public servants (including te Department of Maori Affair!) were virulently opposed to recognising iwi (the real ones), and to dealing with them. And Geoffrey Palmer was positively identified as being one of those least sympathetic to Maori initiatives, on Maori terms.

No matter how hard he might try, even if he could bother, at heart he really does expect us to think like him; tikanga Settler.

Deputy PM Helen Clarke, who proudly claims to represent a multiracial electorate, is much more difficult to fathom.

 

The Nats Almost Recognise the Treaty

 

At their Annual Conference the Nats passed a remit recognising the Treaty as the founding document of New Zealand. It was put forward by their Wellington and Waikato Maori committees. Jim Brown (Tuhoe), of Wellington, and Sir Graham Latimer (Ngati Kahu), of Otamatea, spoke strongly for the remit. Radical activist Winnie Te Pukeko Peters had a dollar each way.

I very much doubt that the Nats ever intend to modify their core policy of assimilation, but this is indeed a major step forward; for them.

 

Minders Anonymous

 

The tauiwi "minder" network which the State Services Commission has implanted right across the Department of Maori Affair, the new Ministry of Maori Affair, and the Iwi Transition Agency, has now reached into the Office of the Minister of Maori Affair.

The Honourable Koro Wetere has a new minder, Ms Helen Anderson.

 

Ministry of Maori Affair

 

The poor old (new) Ministry is finding it difficult to recruit Maori people. A recent letter published in "Tuku Rangatiratanga" (the DMA newsletter) pleads with DMA staff to apply for the new jobs. The letter asks for "women and Maori" to apply. Wonder which they want?

The grapevine reports that Mr Phil Robson, the senior tauiwi minder in the Ministry, is openly anti-Maori. He couldn't care less whether the Ministry has a "Maori perspective". How do I know? Hika ma, he's been mouthing off all over town.

 

Was There a Government Hi-jack?

 

Many delegates to Ratana Pa were concerned that Government was interfering in the Congress in order to capture it. "Unite and Rule" is the ancient companion strategy to "Divide and Rule".

Some of their fears arose from the activities of Kara Puketapu and Neville Baker, who were trying to "assist" the course of the Congress, and who had tried to hold a preliminary hui at Ratana on 9/10 August. The kumara vine whispers that they might even have prepared some of the "recommendations" in advance!

Sir Hepi Te Heu Heu moved quickly to block any suggestion of a hi-jack by banning Governmental participation, and by rejecting NZ Maori Council delegates.

My investigations around the kumara vine suggest that it was a private hi-jack, not sanctioned by Government. The fact that Kara and Neville are in the Government's Iwi Transition Agency is incidental, although it did provide them with a platform to launch their plan.

For some time now a group of the old-guard have been trying to re-capture Maoridom. This group are not well known for their total support of iwi initiatives, by the iwi. Their targets have been the fisheries and forestry fallout, part of the budget of the new Ministry of Maori Affairs (resource research), the Iwi Transition Agency, the Maori Congress, some major projects in conjunction with the Maori Development Corporation, and some overseas funding.

This was a strategy to control the economic resources of Maoridom. It was also an attempt to regain the political ascendancy, and to be recognised as the voice of Maoridom. Information to hand suggests that Maori International (MI5) was to play a central role.

It would seem that a key element in the plan, if not the major element, was to install Neville Baker as General Manager of the Iwi Transition Agency. To bring this about a very wide, very intensive (and possibly very expensive?) campaign was mounted to gain support from kaumatua. The kumara vine says more than twenty of them came to his support.

As the appointment drew near, there was an attempt to influence Cabinet's decision. The kumara vine reports that Sir Norman Perry was one who made strong representations to Government on behalf of Neville. Sir Graham Latimer was another who showed himself strongly committed to Sir Neville.

After failing with Congress, Kara and Neville convened a hui at Wellington on 10 August for delegates from Auckland, from Wellington, and from Christchurch, to discuss the establishment of urban Maori authorities. This looked like a power play into the major cities. Part of the real agenda came at the end of the hui when Hori Brennan moved a motion that they support Neville for the ITA job.

The motion was "withdrawn" after it was challenged.

Who do they represent? Well, it looks to me like that old and bold non-representative faction of the Board of Maori Affair (and some cronies), plus their man in the Department, and MI5, the "business" arm.

Most of them have, from time to time, been advisors to Koro Wetere. How much was he aware of? If he knew of it, did he approve?

There seems to be no evidence that the New Zealand Maori Council has been involved in a formal sense.

Sir Graham is a key figure in the Board of Maori Affair, and Maori International, as well as the Maori Council. However the kumara vine reports considerable disquiet within the Council over some of his recent activities. As the Council has been leading the negotiations for fisheries and forestry resources, it is a good vehicle to gain control of any compensation or seed capital.

Not all members of the Board of Maori Affair belong to this faction either, certainly not the ones who genuinely represent the iwi. There is also no evidence that any of the iwi resources negotiators (fisheries and forestry) have been involved in anything other than properly representing their iwi.

Although Professor Ngatata Love of the Board of Maori Affair is known to be a very close associate of Neville Baker, he has been very quiet for the last year or so, and has not been seen to be openly involved in this operation.

Another of Neville's close associates is Bert Mackie, also of the Board of Maori Affair. He was involved, but seems to have withdrawn his support for Neville at a late stage.

I wouldn't call it a conspiracy. It looks no more sinister than the old-guard, the brown colonials, trying to recapture the high ground from the iwi. The rise of the iwi since Hui Taumata 1984 has threatened their positions of influence over Maori affairs, and since that time they have fought to hold back the tide. Their motives are not entirely wrong, for they do want to help Maori people. But the problem is that they prefer to do things for the people, rather than let the people try to do it for themselves. They don't trust us. And they think they have the right to decide for all of us.

As far as I am aware the Government was not involved. However, the players could well have thought that if they held their own until the next elections, a National government might see things their way. They certainly have enough National Party contacts. I wonder if Pukeko Peters knows what they've been up to?

 

Matua Whangai Funding

 

The kumara vine brings this report from the North which may be of interest to those iwi who have wondered how Matua Whangai funding was allocated.

Te Runanga O Ngati Whatua have been trying for over a year to find out where the Ngati Whatua grants have been sent for the last three years. They have had a long and involved search through Maori Affair Head Office, the Whangarei Office, the Tai Tokerau Maori Trust Board, and would you believe, the Otamatea Trust Board. No-one seems willing to open the books.

Te Putatara has seen evidence that at least one year's grant was certainly banked in the Otamatea Trust Board account at the BNZ. It would seem that another year's grant ended up in the same place, and that everyone is being very coy about where the third grant went to. The matter has now been referred to the Ombudsman.

But wait. Matt McMillan of DMA Head Office has rung Te Runanga O Ngati Whatua with a belated offer to sort things out. After all this time! I'd get it on paper if I were them. Hika ma! We're not that easy are we?

 


 

 

 

He Pepeha Mo Enei Ra

na Rev Maori Marsden

 

 

Tera te uira te wahi rua
i runga o Poneke,
I te whare miere,
Whare pou i te ture,
Pou tinihanga,
E hara ia nei he tohu no te mate?
Kia miere ko Ngati Maori,
uri tangata.
Whare wawahi i te Wairua o te Tiriti,
Kawenata tapu i herea e nga matua,
Ki te remu o te kahu o Wikitoria.

I hua hoki ratou ka maringi mai,
Ko te waiu, ko te miere reka,
I puakina e te pukapuka a te mihinare
Waihoki te hua,
Te takahi mana, huti pouwhenua.
Topea ana e Heke te Haki a te Kuini
Rukuhia ana e Kawiti te Atua-o-te-po.
Maea ake, he toto te kai,
Riro ana Nga
-Puhi ki nga Niho o Tu.

Titiro whakarunga ki Orakau
ko Rewi Maniapoto,
Ki te maunga houhunga ko Titokowaru,
Ki a Whiti-o-Rongomai, Tohu-Kakahi,
Taroi-o-te-riri,
Kei Ngati Toa ko Te Rauparaha,
Kei Tuhoe Potiki
ko Te Kooti Rikirangi,
Enei pokai tara, kahui toa,
I wheke nei,
Kia Toi-te-kupu, Toi-te-mana,
Toi-te-whenua.
Te whenua kua mahea,
Te tangata kua ngaro,
Hinga ko nga pou-toko-manawa
O nga whare maire,
Tupou ko nga rau titapu,
I hoaina ki takutikitiki,
Te hou o te kotuku,
O te toroa mapuna,
Te rau o te huia,
Tohu rangatira, tohu amorangi.

He aha tenei kupu e wawara mai nei,
Te "Tuku Rangatiratanga
a te Kawanatanga",
E kore rawa taku mate e ea i te moni,
Ma nga toto anake o te Ariki,
E hoko ki ea taku mate,
E ngaki te mate o te iwi, o te ao.
Waiho atu ki nga ara tawhito
i poua ai,
Nga ara mai o te mana
Mana Atua, mana tupuna, mana whenua.

E tu e te Tari Maori,
Ki te wehenga o nga ara.
Tirohia atu nga ara tawhito o namata,
Uia ki te wahi ngaro,
"Kei hea te wahi pai?"
Haere ra reira ka kitea ra e koe,
Te tanga manawa mo te iwi -
Mo te rahi, mo te iti.

Hoea to waka,
Kia maro te haere.
Wahia te moana waiwai o te Ao Pakeha.
Papaki te tai
Ki te papa-rape-nui-o-Tane,
Takiri tu ki te pae-o-Rehua.

Ki ana mai Tauiwi,
"Kahore ou toa".
Kao, he toa ano tou,
He uru mataku te uru o te hoe,
He kakau whakawhana
Wahia te ara o Tawhirimatea
Ki te whare o Maui-Tikitiki-a-Taranga
e takoto mai nei;
Kia eke, eke panuku.

Putatara!
Putatara!
Ki te Wheiao, AoMarama.

 

 

 

Reflections on our Times

by Rev Maori Marsden

 

 

Forked lightning flashing over Poneke
Arcing above the Beehive,
House of honey,
House of Laws,
House of Honeyed Deceit.
Is this not a portent of Doom?
Signal of Maoridom
And her descendants eclipsed?
This house undermining the Treaty,
Sacred Covenant bound by our
forefathers to the royal robes
of Victoria.


Persuaded that milk and honeydrip,
Promises fostered
by the Missionary Handbook,
Alas for the tainted fruits -
Mana trampled, landmarks removed.
Heke, the flag of the Queen did fell,
Kawiti, the God of darkness
challenged,
Emerging with the taste of blood,
Nga
-puhi committed to the teeth
of the god of war.


Look South to Rewi Maniapoto
of Orakau,
To Titokowaru of the snow-capped
mountain,
To Whiti-o-Rongomai and Tohu-Kakahi,
Architects of passive resistance.
Consider Te Rauparaha of Ngati Toa,
Te Kooti Rikirangi of Tuhoe-Potiki,
Heroes all,
Committed to be honoured,
Mana to be retrieved,
Land and heritage to be secured.
But alas,
The land is desolate,
The heroes departed,
The ridge poles of the house fallen.
The sacred plumes are wilted,
Plume of the Heron,
Of the far-ranging albatross.
Sacred plume of the huia,
Symbol of chiefs and sages.

What is this babble,
This double-talk I hear,
This "Tuku Rangatiratanga -
Return of Authority",
This phrase patronisingly and
artfully employed by the oppressors?
My loss, my deprivation cannot be
redeemed by filthy lucre!
By the blood of My Lord alone can
this loss,
The pain of my people, and the World
Be redeemed.
Change not the ancient ways of old,
The paths by which mana comes.

Stand, pause at the crossroads,
Tari Maori.
Consider the paths of old,
The established paths along which
mana comes.
Ask the Hidden One,
"Which is the best way?"
And walk therein.
Then shall you find rest,
For the people,
For the great and the small.

Steer your canoe,
On a straight course.
Divide the stormy seas
of Te Ao Pakeha,
Let the waves lap against the canoe -
The trunk of Tane,
Set your course by the star Antares.

Tauiwi claims your force is spent.
Refute that claim.
Your inner force pulsates still.
Fearful is the head of the paddle -
A weapon in war,
A means to propel the Canoe.
Forge through the stormy seas of
Tawhiri,
To the House
Of Maui-Tikitiki-a-Taranga;
Your landfall, the haven you seek.

And let the trumpet sound,
"Putatara! Putatara!"
To signal your emergence
Into the dawn light,
The broad light of day.

 


 

 

 

Two Books:

 

"Nga Tau Tohetohe" by Ranginui Walker, 1987.

"Maori Sovereignty" by Donna Awatere-Huata, 1984.

 

 

This is not a review, but a tribute to two important books and their authors.

A few months ago I met Dun Mihaka in the street and we discussed his book, which at that time was shortly due to be published. Naturally enough the discussion turned to my own modest efforts in "Te Putatara". Dun told me then that he wasn't going to subscribe to my work, because it had all been said before. Mind you, I have since acquired a copy of his book!

Dun was right of course, and it has all been said before. It might not have been said in quite the same way, to quite the same audience, but mine is just another voice in a long line of voices since the coming of tauiwi; many of them far more eloquent than either Dun or myself.

Ranginui Walker has been promoting the Maori viewpoint and exploding Pakeha myths in his "Korero" column of "The Listener" since March 1973. This is a remarkable contribution from a Maori writer, showing stamina and longevity. He has stuck to his task through thick and thin, through criticism and invective. There is no doubt in my mind that over the last twenty years he has made an enormous contribution in the grinding war of attrition we are all part of.

Trade unionist Nick Tangaroa once told me of a strategy for dealing with reluctant employers; never give in. Get a firm grip by sinking your teeth into them, and never let go; unless and until they relent.

That's how I see Ranginui Walker and his "Korero" column. Relentless, single-minded dedication to the kaupapa. He covers the whole range of issues confronting Maori people, and the whole range of Pakeha reactionary mythology. We don't always agree with the things he writes, but more often than not, we do.

A wide-ranging selection of his columns is contained in "Nga Tau Tohetohe". I keep his book close by, and refer to it often.

In his introduction to "Nga Tau Tohetohe", Ranginui refers to "the vision" of Donna Awatere-Huata. As a writer, Donna has not the same lengthy pedigree or voluminous output as Ranginui, but her impact has been far-reaching.

"Maori Sovereignty" has become a standard reference for academics and writers in the Treaty issues, race relations, and sociology fields. Unfortunately most of them still choose to avoid the hard edge of what Donna was saying to them in those days about their own inadequate interpretation of the Aotearoa experience.

"Sovereignty" has been described as magisterial. If that's an academic way of saying "important" then I would agree. It comprises three essays written for the feminist magazine "Broadsheet" between June 1982 and February 1983, plus a fourth written specifically for the book.

Donna's analysis, her vision of the future, and her strategies towards that future, are as relevant now as they were in the early 1980's. I believe they deserve revisiting and careful reading by Maori leaders, both kaumatua and rangatahi.

I keep "Sovereignty" close by. Well, quite close; just around the corner at Phillipa McDonald's house.

 


 

 

 

Dispatches from the Dungeon Bar

 

 

 

E hoa ma, after the big winter sleep, Te Putatara finally got the courage to go out on the streets of Te Whanganui-A-Tara once again.

They were a bit wary down in the Dungeon Bar too. There's so many private intelligence networks sprung up here at Te Upoko during the winter that you never know who's watching who. Or whom to watch with whom. Eh. When I arrived back at the Dungeon, Jake and the Fat Man weren't there to watch, or be watched. Jake's excuse is that he's gone away to a warmer place for winter, but I reckon he couldn't handle the heat eh. From his missus.

Not to worry though, there were plenty of nice people there; Miriama Evans, Titoki McGarvey, Christine Matangi, Doris Kaua, Pat Park, and Bill Kaua.

Warwick Crooks, who is the new Pakeha minder in the old Department of Maori Affair, was there. He must be a nice person eh. He bought a nice big bunch of flowers for that nice big Bill Kaua. Careful William, it might be a big bunch of bugs!

You all know my whanaunga, the very best actor in all the world - Wi Kuki Kaa? Well he was there with his whanaunga, Ross "Mr Black" White. Neither of them would buy me a bunch of flowers. They said, "Don't be a mule you dopey Kahungunu! Have a Lion Brown." Hika ma! Their whanaunga looked OK with his bunch of flowers!

Anyway, this other fullah (someone's whanaunga), he got into the swing of things and ordered a flash cocktail drink - in the Dungeon Bar, would you believe! Well, after three of them, he bought some flowers for me. But he ate them all! Pai kare, that kicktail must of had a cock like a mule, eh!

 


 

 

 

A Cleric's Tale

 

 

Hot off the kumara vine.

E hoa ma. It seems that a certain reverend gentleman of the cloth [tangata rag?] has put his foot in it because he told a delightful little joke about our esteemed Minister of Maori Affair, Cyclone Koro Wetere.

Despite the greatness of his calling, and the lofty heights of his attainment, this reverend person is now in the outer circle, and banished forever from the Court of Cyclone Koro. You're not supposed to tell jokes about Koro if you want to stay in the good books eh.

I know, I know; get to the joke Ross. Get to the reverend joke.

Well. Just after the "Loans Affair" way, way back in 86/87, this up-market Te Arawa fullah went into a really posh cocktail bar in the tourist city, where they claimed to know every kicktail under the geyser. He strutted up to the bar (in his leather jacket) and said to the cocktail waiter, "I'll have a Koro Wetere please, my good man. A nice long cool Koro Wetere."

Now. This had that uppity up-market Kahungunu cocktail person completely stumped. "A Koro Wetere? I'm dreadfully sorry Sir. I don't know that one. Pray tell me Sir, what IS a Koro Wetere?"

With that look that only Te Arawa can look, after yet another victory in the never-ending inter-tribal wars of witty repartee, he proudly proclaimed:

"A Lion Brown, Dummy! Ti, hi, hi! A Lion Brown!"

Funny, eh.


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