Fiji Coup Supplement
7 June 2000
Maui laughs at the Commonwealth
by Ross Nepia Himona
Today we learn that the Commonwealth has given Fiji the obligatory slap on the hand. They haven't actually suspended Fiji, but they've suspended them from council meetings and other decision-making processes. So they get to belong, but they don't get to vote, or even to speak.
Next on the agenda is a visit to Fiji by a delegation of ministers, including Phil Goff from Aotearoa New Zealand, and Alexander Downer from Australia.
My dear friends, have you heard that old joke about farting in church? Well, this time the Commonwealth has decided to send a couple of them by airmail to Paradise, as a gesture perhaps of solidarity and goodwill.
Excellent choice Mr Colonial Old Commonwealth, these two firm friends of Fiji, who have spent the last two weeks chucking odoriferous verbal bombs from across the seas. I presume that they're on their way to share in person the unconditional love in their hearts, and the profound depth and breadth of their vision, wisdom, knowledge and understanding.
Well, I'm sure the Indigenous Fijians will appreciate the joke, and respond with a joke of their own.
They'll probably lay on the obligatory welcome that is an integral part of Pacific culture. They'll treat them regally, as honoured guests of a grateful nation. Drape them profusely in garlands of sweet smelling flowered lei.
Stop laughing, you wicked descendants of Maui ((-:
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