The Newsletter of
The Maori Alliance
P.O.Box 408, Wellington.
Issue No.09/88 - 19 September 1988
may be reproduced. Please acknowledge source.
"Ki te whai te mana Maori motuhake i runga i te kotahitanga me te tino rangatiratanga i roto i Te Tiriti o Waitangi."
Ki Te Tiriti o Waitangi, tena koe.
Ki te kaupapa o Te Kotahitanga Maori, tena koe.
E nga iwi o te motu, e nga hau e wha,
Tena koutou, tena koutou, tena koutou katoa.
I wouldn't go as far as to say that Labour pulled a miracle from the political hat at their recent conference, but the hat did have some unexpected contents. A bit of adroit sleight of hand by David Lange, Rex Jones and others and suddenly we were presented with the amazing illusion of a reunited Labour Party.
Houdini would be proud.
Time will tell whether the illusion lasts long enough for the power brokers to build some reality behind the image. The propaganda machine that masquerades as public relations and information services will not be enough. There will have to be some substance behind the hype.
Which is where Mike Moore comes in. Moore has always had the potential to be the real power in Cabinet. Now he has stepped into the domestic limelight as Associate Minister for Finance, and as Chairman of the new Labour Party Leaders Commission.
One of his declared jobs is to strike a compact with the industrial wing of the Labour movement.
He would do New Zealand a far greater service if he devoted his considerable negotiating and public relations talents to striking an honourable compact between both partners to the Treaty of Waitangi; to educating Pakeha New Zealanders about their race relations problem, about their obligations under the Treaty of Waitangi.
He would bring a greater peace to this country if he left as his legacy a Treaty of Waitangi enshrined as Supreme Law.
And while he is about it, he would do well to finish off the re-structuring of the state left unfinished by Treasury and their captive Minister, Roger Douglas.
Now is the time to bring in a consultant charged with phasing out the Treasury by 1990, and replacing it with a very small and efficient Ministry of Economic Policy!
Kia ora koutou,
AT LEAST ONE SUPPORTER
Tena koe Ross,
You will by now have received my cheque. The information we are getting from you is always of the highest standard, with a side dish of high humour. I admit that my vision is one-eyed in that I can only see the positive aspects of our Maori Alliance.
Please continue to stop me from assuming that I can accept that what is given from Government is in my best interest, and continue to question all reports/papers on my behalf so that I may gain an insight into the volatile path Government intends to lead us.
I must raise a question which has shown its ugly head again. Is this government intending to make Aotearoa a state of Australia?
# Thanks for the support George [my whanaunga, eh!]. The Government has no policy about political union with Australia although under the Closer Economic Relations regime we are moving closer and closer towards economic union. How far behind economic union is political union?
It's interesting that whenever the matter is raised no-one acknowledges that under the Treaty of Waitangi union with Australia is impossible without Maori consent. And we wouldn't agree without consultation with the Australian tangata whenua would we? - Ed.
In the modern life of the Maori much time and effort, by many people, is devoted to devising "strategies" for all manner of pursuit.
In the Kingdom of Wu, about 2,500 years ago, there was no equal to the master strategist Sun Tzu; and to this day, none better.
His teachings are not just applicable to armed warfare.
Sun Tzu said:
"All warfare is based on deception.
Hence, when able to attack, we must seem unable; when using our forces, we must seem inactive; when we are near, we must make the enemy believe we are far away; when far away, we must make him believe we are near.
Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.
If he is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him.
If your opponent is of choleric temper, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant.
If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them.
Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected.
These devices, leading to victory, must not be divulged beforehand."
So sayeth The Master.
MANA MAORI MOTUHAKE
In "Government Management - Brief to the Incoming Government 1987" The Treasury stated:
"The decision early this year to devolve the activities of the Department of Maori Affairs to tribal authorities represents a major initiative. This initiative will need to be carried through carefully and sensitively if it is to be successful."
"The process of devolution must be constructed on a mutual understanding by the Government and the iwi of the obligations, interests and rights of both parties. It needs to be understood that the purpose of devolution is to find a means of discharging the state's interests and responsibilities as effectively and efficiently as possible. It does not in itself represent a major new financial initiative with substantial new commitments for the state. Rather it involves the agreement that an iwi will act as the Crown's partner and agent in delivering social assistance in a way that is more efficient than other approaches have proved."
Do not fall into the trap of accusing Treasury of not understanding the Maori interpretation of devolution as power sharing. Treasury and other crusaders of the libertarian Right are well aware of Maori aspirations to self determination.
They have proven themselves expert in seizing the high ground, and in providing pre-emptive definitions to the words used by their opposition. In treasury-speak, "devolution" has become "a means of discharging the state's interests and responsibilities as effectively and efficiently as possible". Nothing to do with power sharing at all.
In "He Tirohanga Rangapu" the word "iwi" was seized and became the indefinable and therefore multiple-meaning "iwi-based organisation". The real definition was not supplied but an official definition is no doubt waiting in the wings.
There is a certain cheeky arrogance in the attempt to provide a preemptive definition of a very well defined Maori term - "iwi".
In this fashion the valid political, economic and social objectives of Maoridom (and just about everyone else) are seized, converted into the pseudo-managerial terminology of treasury-speak, and reissued as Treasury policy advice. They become, in fact, the thinly veiled propaganda of the libertarian Right.
In our dealings with Government and its agencies in our quest for mana Maori motuhake we must ourselves seize the high ground, provide our own definitions, and conduct our affairs on our own terms.
Have you noticed how they avoid our terms such as taonga and tino rangatiratanga?
"Mana Maori motuhake" is a term that can never be seized by Treasury. A Ministry of Maori Policy might have a go!
Having been debased by Treasury, devolution is dead. Let it be heard no more.
The kumara vine whispers that the new plan being promoted by the Department of Maori Affairs revolves around a re-structured Head Office called Ministry of Maori Policy, and an operational arm (called Districts athe the moment!). Original eh!
It is also whispered that whenever Don Hunn can't get his way with Rau Kirikiri on the interdepartmental committee chaired by Rau, he goes behind his back direct to Dr Reedy. Sounds like Rau has become the token Maori chairman.
It would almost be enough to send him back to Foreign Affairs in disgust, if he wasn't stubborn enough to stick in there and fight for us.
A meeting of the joint Board of Maori Affairs/Department of Maori Affairs committee on MANA Enterprises and Maori ACCESS was held recently. Apparently Bob Mahuta was the only Board representative who attended.
The Department of Maori Affairs has called a hui on 19/20 September 1988 to explore the "partnership between Iwi Authorities and the department with specific regard to the operation of MACCESS & MANA Enterprises."
The chairperson of each Authority has been invited. One other person from each may attend. The agenda includes addresses by Koro Wetere, Tamati Reedy and Eru Manuera, workshop sessions, and a panel discussion.
29 August 1988
To All Tribal & Regional Authorities:
MANA Enterprises and Maori ACCESS Contracts
Very soon Tribal & Regional Authorities will be offered new contracts by the Department of Maori Affairs to manage MANA Enterprises and Maori ACCESS.
The Maori Alliance recognises the right of Tribal & Regional Authorities to enter into contracts in their own right as autonomous bodies. However we feel we should point out some of the likely downstream consequences of these particular contracts.
There is every possibility that these contracts will set the precedent for all future contracts between all Maori organisations and all state departments and agencies. You may therefore be responsible for setting the ground rules which other Maori organisations, and indeed our future generations, may have to work under.
We seriously recommend that Tribal & Regional Authorities join together to negotiate the best terms possible, using the best legal advice, before signing the contracts.
5 September 1988
To All Tribal & Regional Authorities:
MANA Enterprises and Maori ACCESS Contracts
More unsolicited advice!
This special issue follows our Faxflash No.003 dated 29 August 1988 and is designed to offer Tribal & Regional Authorities some suggested principles to follow in negotiating MANA and ACCESS contracts. Authorities will of course reach all or most of these conclusions themselves, but we raise them anyway.
The Treaty of Waitangi and He Kawenata
Firstly, any contract must preserve and protect the autonomy of the Iwi. Under the terms of the Treaty of Waitangi the Iwi entered into a partnership with the Crown, and therefore cannot enter into a Master/Servant or Crown/Agent relationship. The Minister and the Department are servants of the Crown, the Iwi are partners.
Secondly, any contract must honour the agreements reached with the Government and expressed in He Kawenata in October 1984.
Contents of a Contract
The Contracts must present a clear understanding of what is expected of BOTH parties, and provide limits to the rights, responsibilities, and powers of BOTH parties in their relationship with each other.
a. There must be:
- Clear Objectives for the programme.
- Clear Standards of Performance.
- Clear Reporting Requirements.
- A clear statement of Rewards and Sanctions.
b. The contractual arrangements must allow the Iwi to focus on performance unhindered by irrelevant and unnecessary bureaucratic interference.
c. The contracts must not be one-sided and designed primarily to protect the Department from real or imagined abuses of the system. It must not be designed simply to avoid possible future embarrassment, for that would be a negative approach.
d. We believe that the contracts must only be capable of variation by mutual agreement and not merely by decree at the whim of the Minister or the Department.
e. Finally, the contracts must demonstrate maturity in Crown/Iwi relationships by being based on mutual faith, mutual trust, and goodwill.
Rewards and Sanctions
We believe that this area of the contracts will be crucial, and that the success of the contractual arrangements will rely on the fairness of the system of Rewards and Sanctions, and particularly on the rules for, and limits to, the imposition of sanctions for under-performance. The arbitrary imposition of sanctions by the Crown or any of its Servants must not be allowed.
In other words the powers of the Minister and the Department must be agreed within the contract. The limits to any sanctions must be clearly stated. The circumstances under which sanctions may be applied must be clearly stated.
In their submissions to the Minister on "He Tirohanga Rangapu" most Iwi supported the retention of a restructured Department. Indeed The Maori Alliance also supported retention.
However that decision was based on aroha. The matter of the MANA Enterprises and Maori ACCESS contracts is business.
In this day and age of the free market and open competition, it would be wise to shop around. If satisfactory contracts cannot be negotiated with Maori Affairs then perhaps other departments might be willing to offer better terms if the MANA and MACCESS Votes were transferred to them.
Government has already indicated in "He Tirohanga Rangapu" that this is their preferred course of action.
THE REFORM OF TREASURY
In July 1984 New Zealand was taken over by Treasury and the Reserve Bank in a bloodless coup. And most did not notice it.
There are three main functions carried out by Treasury at the moment. Its first role is as a think tank for the Minister of Finance, Roger Douglas. Second it is the main economic policy advisor to Government. Thirdly it is the operational arm providing the budgeting and expenditure service to Government.
According to Treasury's own stated criteria for Government Management the roles of policy control ministry, and operational arm, should be split into two separate entities, say a Ministry of Economic Policy and a Department of Finance.
The split would ensure that the policy makers could not covertly enforce their views through control of the cheque book. They would first have to have their policy approved by the democratic process. This division of functions is not uncommon in other democratic countries.
The name "Treasury" should disappear. Its destruction must not only be done, but be seen to be done.
Why should "Treasury" be destroyed?
The staff of Treasury have usurped the think tank role of the elected government. In this role they not only provide economic policy advice to Government, they have also captured the Labour Party and Caucus role of providing ideological direction to Cabinet. It is disguised as economic advice but is nothing more than ideology based on economic prejudice. They do not even bother to present a range of alternatives.
Furthermore there is ample evidence that Treasury itself is ideologically linked with outside pressure groups. Treasury work has also been done at an Australian right wing think tank.
In short, the non-elected servants of Government have corrupted the democratic process by intruding themselves into the political arena. We have an elected government carrying out the political ideology of a non-elected dictatorship.
It does not matter what party is in power, or whether the ideology is thought to be "right" or "wrong". The democratic process has been corrupted.
Much of what has been done to restructure the economy and the state in the last five years certainly needed to be done. Few would deny that.
However, the paucity of social experience and social conscience in Treasury, coupled with extreme right wing zeal, has turned the process into an absolute nightmare.
The restructuring of the rest of the state sector has been justified by Treasury on the grounds of efficiency and effectiveness. There is an even more compelling reason to restructure the treasury system - Democracy.
"Discrimination can be seen as a means by which individuals cope with some uncertainty and information costs, and also as a form of opportunism." They also see it as "a means of screening out the uncertain" in a market environment.
How would they define fornication?
The networks of Maoridom are well understood by Maori people, and are totally impervious to the eyes of most Pakeha.
The networks of the Pakeha centre and left (including unions, Labour Party, peace movement, womens movements) are also well known. Indeed many Maori people are involved in these Pakeha networks. Maoridom is also well acquainted with sporting networks (at the players level rather than the power level).
The networks of the Pakeha Right are not so well known these days.
As a boy I grew up under the benign influence of the old Right. In Ngati Kahungunu we were colonised by such families as Williams and Ormond. They bought the land, converted it into the very image of rural England, populated it with their subjects (white and woolly, but four-legged), and set themselves up as a colonial version of the English aristocracy.
They became the Sheepocracy.
Ngati Kahungunu was the labour force which kept the sheepocracy in the manner they aspired to. Which was not all bad. Maori contractors cleared the land, built the fences, and stripped the wool from the sheep. Good times for the sheepocracy meant good times for Ngati Kahungunu.
The Hawkes Bay/Wairarapa sheepocracy, and others like them all over the country, spread their networks deep into the business world. They dominated the boards of the meat and wool industry, and the rest of the business sector, which existed primarily to serve their interests.
Through the National Party they controlled the political life of the country for most of the last fifty years.
With the destruction of the meat industry, and the decline of the wool sector, they have finally lost the almost total grip they had on New Zealand.
I used to dream of the day it would happen; of the day when their power would be broken.
But they have been replaced by a powerful city-based elite, the libertarian Right.
The sheepocracy never ever considered sharing power with Maoridom, but they acknowledged our existence, and until recent years depended on our labour for their own lifestyle.
The libertarian Right has no use for us whatsoever. We are no longer needed to fuel the farms and the factories of the sheepocracy. The new elite don't need us in their kingdom at all; in the finance sector.
What is the libertarian Right?
They are the very people who have been idolised in the Pakeha media for the last five years. They are the swashbucklers of the money markets, the corporate raiders, the property spectaculators, the take-over buccaneers, the Americas Cup admirals.
Their organisations are the Business Roundtable, and the NZ Centre for Independent Studies (a think-tank). An Australian think tank, the Centre of Policy Studies at Monash University, does work for both Treasury and the Business Roundtable. These think tanks are tools of the libertarian Right.
They read the National Business Review. They no longer owe allegiance to the National Party. They will support whomsoever will support them - like Roger Douglas.
Much of their impetus comes from the Chicago School of economists, from Milton Freidman and others of the "monetarist" persuasion. They are advocates of the free market. They are dedicated to the cult of individualism, and to the belief that what is good for them is good for the country.
Their central belief is totally opposed to the value system and cultural community that is Maoridom.
For instance the NZ Centre for Independent Studies, in conjunction with the National Business Review, has brought to New Zealand a Dr Thomas Sowell for a series of seminars. Dr Tom is an American Black who has a PhD in economics from the University of Chicago.
He is a strong opponent of positive discrimination and affirmative action in favour of racial minorities. He has been brought to New Zealand to speak [against] positive discrimination in favour of racial minorities in employment, and the economy as a whole.
To my knowledge this is the first overt foray into racial issues by the libertarian Right. It brings into the open their stance on these issues, cloaked in economic terms.
The theories of the libertarian Right have penetrated the very bastions of the State, to Treasury and the Reserve Bank. They are being adopted by the whole of the State Sector as practitioners of the libertarian Right spread their networks into powerful and influential places.
Who are they?
The libertarian Right is a network of like minded people. In listing the following people Te Putatara does not wish to convey the impression of a conspiracy. The aim is simply to show the extent of the network.
They are listed in no particular order.
(Sir?) Alan Gibbs of Gibbs Securities, friend of Roger Douglas, chairman of the Forestry Corporation, author of the Gibbs Report on the health services, member of the Business Roundtable, and responsible for bringing the Centre for Independent Studies from Australia to New Zealand.
Professor Richard Manning of Canterbury University where many Treasury staffers have been educated, and who is involved in the Centre for Independent Studies.
Professor David Emanuel of Auckland University and the Centre for Independent Studies.
Max Bradford, formerly of Treasury, then the Bankers Association, and currently secretary-general of the National Party. Involved with the Centre for Independent Studies.
Rob Cameron, formerly a senior member of Treasury (co-authored briefing papers to the incoming Labour Government in 1984), and now an executive of the Centre for Independent Studies.
Ian Douglas of Renoufs and formerly a chairman of the NZ Planning Council.
Roger Kerr, ex-Treasury (another author of the 1984 briefing papers), now executive director of the Business Roundtable. An important link between the business sector and the mandarins of the new public sector.
Sir Ron Trotter, chairman of the Business Roundtable etc.
Allan Hawkins (Equiticorp), David Richwhite (Fay Richwhite), Peter Francis (Chase Corporation), Doug Meyers (Lion), and Robson (Independent Newspapers) are all involved with the Business Roundtable.
Rod Deane formerly deputy governor of the Reserve Bank, then Chairman of the State Services Commission and now Chief Executive of the Electricity Corporation. Also a trustee of the Centre for Independent Studies.
Graham Scott, another co-author of the 1984 Treasury briefing papers, and now Secretary of Treasury.
Sir Ron Brierly, chairman of the Bank of New Zealand, etc.
Jas McKenzie, Secretary for Labour.
John Fernyhough of the Lion Foundation, colleague of Douglas Meyers, chairman of the Electricity Corporation, deputy chairman of the Forestry Corporation, and long time associate of Alan Gibbs. Reported to have participated in the Centre for Independent Studies. Studied at Chicago University.
Professor Bruce Ross of the Economic Development Commission.
Bryce Wilkinson who co-authored with Graham Scott, Rob Cameron and Roger Kerr the 1984 Treasury briefing papers.
Patrick Duignan who with Rob Cameron wrote another Treasury paper on state-owned enterprises. Doug Andrews who was Roger Douglas' link with Treasury when Labour was in opposition.
Dr Don Brash, former National Party candidate, and recently appointed as Governor of the Reserve Bank. Prominent as an advocate of the free market and monetarism.
(Sir?) Brian Picot, director of Progressive Enterprises, chairman of Phillips NZ, chairman of Pacific Venture, director of NZI, and author of the Picot Report on education.
Derek Quigley, an early National Party member of the libertarian Right network. Ousted from Cabinet by Sir Robert Muldoon.
Ruth Richardson, Opposition spokesperson on finance.
Simon Upton, National MP for Raglan. One of the few who can argue his position from an intellectual and philosophical base rather than from economic prejudice.
Roger Douglas who has given his name and his political clout, along with that of Richard Prebble, to the work of the libertarian Right network.
Te Putatara wishes to acknowledge its debt to Bruce Jesson, political columnist with "Metro", author of "Behind the Mirror Glass", and editor of "The Republican" magazine, for his research on the libertarian Right.
Readers wishing to study the subject in more detail should read "Behind the Mirror Glass", Bruce Jesson, Penguin, 1987. "The Republican" is available on subscription ($15 for six issues) from P.O.Box 22-263, Otahuhu, Auckland 6.
RACE RELATIONS HUI
The editor of Te Putatara was invited to attend a hui on race relations for members of the media. It was held at Te Herenga Waka Marae, Victoria University on 9/10 September.
Now, I know that the National Library of NZ has decided that Te Putatara has sufficient status to warrant being deposited in the national treasures (true, I tell you, true), but being invited to a media hui is just a bit over the top. So I went.
I'd better let on that the hui was jointly hosted by Te Herenga Waka and the Race Relations Office, and that the organiser in Race Relations used to teach English to this wayward editor. She thought she might get a chance to fix some of the glaring deficiencies in the job she started in 1956.
It was a fine hui, thanks to our hosts, prominent academic Hirini Moko Mead and Jewish activist Wally Hirsch.
Special messages were sent to the hui by Governor General Sir Paul Reeves and Pakeha activist David Lange. Noted researcher Manuka Henare took the chair for the first session and we were addressed by Pakeha race relations activist, Paul Spoonley, followed by television executive Ripeka Evans.
Following on from them were television reporter and preacher Hone Kaa in a joint presentation with broadcaster and Pakeha activist Piripi Waaka, who did not turn up. Never mind - broadcaster and former magazine editor Piripi Whaanga was there to represent Te Reo Irirangi o Te Upoko o Te Ika.
The presentation by veteran journalist Derek Fox was well received as was a session by journalism tutor and pakeha activist Gary Wilson.
At the final session on Saturday morning we were treated to an excellent panel discussion on the Treaty of Waitangi by Chief Judge Eddie Durie and Pakeha Judge McHugh (both of whom could not be there), and Pakeha activists Mary Anne L'Estrange and Jane England.
Respected kaumatua Maaka Metekingi brought along a strong contingent of Pakeha staff from Radio New Zealand, as well as Ngai Tahu reporter Debbie Gee and senior pacific journalist Fraser Folster.
What was senior policeman Rana Waitai doing there? Looking for Jake?
The hui would have been greatly improved by the attendance of golfing enthusiast Koro Wetere and Maori non-activist Tamati Reedy, who were both not there.
I didn't improve my journalism eh, but I found out about racist labels.
PS: It was a fine hui, really. It's the reporter that's terrible.
DR MASON DURIE APPOINTED TO MASSEY UNIVERSITY
Kurahaupo people will be pleased that Mason Durie of Rangitane has been appointed to the newly created position of professor of Maori Studies at Massey University.
No doubt Professor Ngatata Love of Te Ati Awa will be relieved that he can now concentrate on his Business Studies faculty and confidently entrust matters Maori to Professor Durie and the tangata whenua.
THE MAORI ALLIANCE ENTERS CANDIDATES IN AUCKLAND REGIONAL AUTHORITY ELECTIONS
The Maori Alliance has entered two candidates for the Auckland Regional Authority elections to be held in October.
NGAIRE TE HIRA (Ngati Whatua) will stand for NORTHERN MAORI, and BERT MCLEAN (Tuhoe) for WESTERN MAORI. Ngaire Te Hira is a member of the Department of Maori Affairs in Auckland.
Bert McLean is Director of the Tamaki Maori Development Authority, Managing Director of Tamaki Corporation NZ Ltd, and Chairman of the Maori Alliance.
The kaupapa of The Maori Alliance is the platform they will stand on:
"Ki te whai te mana Maori motuhake i runga i te kotahitanga me te tino rangatiratanga i roto i Te Tiriti o Waitangi."
["To pursue Maori self-determination, unity, and rangatiratanga, consistent with the Treaty of Waitangi."]
"If the Maori people are to take their rightful place as tangata whenua, as guaranteed by the Treaty of Waitangi, we must join as one to challenge the dominance of the Pakeha and Pakeha institutions, and to demand that our voice be heard", said Mr McLean.
"The Maori Alliance offers itself as the vehicle for a unified Maori voice in the government of Auckland, the largest concentration of Maori and Pacific Island people in the country", he said. "We will work to achieve a Maori perspective in all aspects of local government. We will work to increase the number of Maori seats on the Authority, and to obtain representation for our Pacific Island cousins. We will also work to bring about understanding and harmony between all the races."
The Maori Alliance believes that Maori people must now attempt to gain representation on local bodies and regional authorities all over the country. Many central government functions are being devolved or decentralised. They are being devolved to bodies which have almost no Maori representation, and in many regions of the country, to bodies which probably do not intend to recognise their responsibilities to the tangata whenua.
Although new local government legislation may include the requirement for local government to have regard for the principles of the Treaty of Waitangi, it is certain that in most places in New Zealand only lip service will be paid.
The Maori Alliance believes that the Auckland Regional Authority model, which provides for separate Maori representation, should apply to all local government in New Zealand.
"Whilst we pursue this avenue for the recognition of Maori aspirations, we will still work towards the statutory recognition of the Iwi as the legitimate local government of the Maori People. That is non-negotiable", said Mr McLean.
ALL ELIGIBLE VOTERS ON THE MAORI ROLLS IN THE AUCKLAND REGIONAL AUTHORITY AREA ARE URGED TO VOTE FOR THE MAORI ALLIANCE TICKET. VOLUNTEER HELPERS CONTACT BERT ON 09-399124.
DISPATCHES FROM THE DUNGEON BAR
Readers from Tamaki Makaurau will be pleased to know that negotiations are in progress for you to have your own column in Te Putatara. With your white-shoe and gold-chain lifestyle you are probably bored to tears with news from the Dungeon. But I see some of you sneaking in for a look occasionally, don't I?
To be quite frank, they're a close-mouthed lot here. Your intrepid reporter has to adjust the truth sometimes just to make them sound semi-exciting!
Jake and the Fat Man are taking things to extremes. They both claim to be on a reduced-beer diet trying their hardest to avoid being Fat Man. It sounds like an excuse for drinking with the fat cats instead of in the Dungeon.
My recent references to my whanaunga in the Department have had a number of people changing their drinking habits, and changing their iwi from Ngati Kahungunu to other less well-defined lines! I'm beginning to understand why I spend more time drinking on my own these days.
Except for quite a few Ngati Porou people who recognise their Ngati Kahungunu ancestry whenever I'm around!
As the philosopher-in-residence said to me: "No matter which way we go these days Charlie there's a cow on every line." Charlie?
LESSONS FROM THE MASTER
Sun Tzu said:
"When these five classes of spy are all at work, none can discover the secret system. This is called 'divine manipulation of the threads.' It is the sovereign's most precious faculty.
Having local spies means employing the services of the inhabitants of a district.
Having inward spies, making use of officials of the enemy.
Having converted spies, getting hold of the enemy's spies and using them for our own purposes.
Having doomed spies, doing certain things openly for purposes of deception, and allowing our own spies to know of them and report them to the enemy.
Surviving spies, finally, are those who bring back news from the enemy's camp.
Hence it is that with none in the whole army are more intimate relations to be maintained than with spies.
The Pony Express has just arrived with a message from Te Kaha:
"START E hoa STOP Te Whanau-A-Apanui has just formed a runanga to be our Iwi Authority STOP Willie Ngamoki STOP"
Get yourself a fax Willie. It's much faster than Ricky Gage on his horse.
We are often asked how many members we have. At the 1986 census we had 403,182 members - not all paid up though. A few of you out there are late with your subscriptions. Get a move on!